what sex ed doesn't teach you

Sex Education For Women and 11 Things You Didn’t Learn as a Teen

The Sex Ed in our educational system leaves much to be desired. Sadly, what Sex Ed doesn’t teach you are the empowering and non-fear based aspects of your sexuality. It’s up to you to discover those. And when you do it’ll be one of the most important discoveries in your life.

I know because I didn’t get the guidance I needed when I was a flowering young lady. I got it much later and it transformed my view of myself, my body and my relationship with others.

Most every teenage girl in America will receive some form of Sex Ed while she is in school. The question is did it make an impact? And more importantly, did it make a positive impact?

What Sex Education for Women Doesn’t Teach You

Did the Sex Ed you received prepare you for being a healthy sexually active woman in your life?

Human needs are complex. You add “female” to that and you get a very delicate or rather subtle and refined environment that is required regarding sexuality. But who would have known? I didn’t.  It took me years, many painful experiences and lots of education to understand the harshness I had put myself through in intimate settings.

Sexuality is a sacred subject. But in our culture, it is more taboo and shameful than it is considered sacred. For me, that is extremely sad. And I’m drawn to help shift that situation.

Did You Have Someone You Could Turn To?

Most teenage girls don’t have the opportunity to safely ask questions and express their concerns. I definitely didn’t have a wise source to turn to. My girlfriends were a source of support but we were all uninformed and moving into this realm rather blindly.

When a teenage girl is coming into womanhood in her own delicate way, should her first introduction to Sex Ed be about pregnancy, STD’s and HIV? Sure those are good things to know about. I question whether a young flowering girl should be fed with more fear-based education instead of empowerment regarding her sexuality. I feel there is something strongly missing.

There is so much more to a woman’s sexuality than pregnancy, STD’s, and information about HIV. Much of what a young girl first learns about sex in school is fear based and statistical. Unfortunately, what sex education for women doesn’t teach you in school is the idea of sex as something celebratory, sacred and to be deeply honored within yourself. And how to navigate the emotions that can come up. Also, how to use their feminine energy to connect with a man or the person they are attracted to.

Disempowering Sexual Beliefs are Passed Down

How can a young girl learn healthy concepts about being a woman and becoming sexually active if she can’t talk about it and/or if she has poor role models?

By the time you took your first Sex Ed course as a teenager, were you already aware of sex from discussions with your mother? Chances are you couldn’t rely on your mother for good sex education no matter how well intended she was. She didn’t get it herself. She may have even been sexually abused as a little girl; caring those wounds into the present. Which is very common.

Was Sex Off Limits?

Another problem is that in many homes, the subject of sex is off limits. Or at best many adults still feel very uncomfortable talking about sex. I see this all the time. Fortunately, that is slowly changing.

None the less, kids are getting sex education from adults who also need a different version of sex education themselves. They are looking through the lens of their own sexual wounds and sexual shame as they speak and teach about sex.

Or you have the other spectrum regarding role models, where sex is promiscuous, engaged in with unclear boundaries, and even overly normalized. It leaves the child uninformed and confused. Especially when comparing it to our social norms of what is expected regarding sexual conduct. Gosh, overall there are simply too many mixed messages for young girls.

You Are All Grown Up Now

By the time you mature from a girl to a woman and, get married, have children, go to college, become a founding CEO of a successful company, climb Mt Everest and a few other things, you’ll still have undiscovered aspects of your sexuality.

You’ll still feel there’s more to your sexuality than you have experienced. You’ll still crave, long and yearn for more connection and intimacy in your life. And completely opening up and enjoying sexual experiences fully may be hard for you to do.

You may even find that your sex life has become one of duty. Yuk!!!

Could this all be because the Sex Ed you got when you were young taught you nothing about being a sexually alive woman? Sex education for women just isn’t really readily available. And it needs to be. If you knew more about your sexuality it would really transform your life.

11 Important Things Sex Education for Women Must Have

What Sex Ed doesn’t teach you (in our standard school system)

about being a woman:

  1. How important pleasure is for a woman to feel fulfilled in her life.
  2. A woman’s sexuality has deeper, less known, more mystical aspects.
  3. Much of the research and education about sexuality comes from a masculine-oriented point of view. It is immensely important to tune into what is right for YOU.
  4. You’ll need to overcome social programming passed down to you from a patriarchal past (and present) to create a healthy relationship with your sexuality.
  5. That a woman’s sexuality is as unique as her fingerprint. Your sexual experiences and sexual attractions may be different from what you are told about sex.
  6. What Sex Ed doesn’t teach you is that you’ll have to take extra steps in your life regarding your sexuality. That is if you want your sexual expression to be free from self-shame and shame projected onto you by others. For example, do you know about the jade egg practice?

    And even more about what Sex Ed doesn’t teach you…
  7. That sexual sovereignty doesn’t come naturally, especially for women. If you want it you’ll have to search it out, educate yourself, get the support and guidance to make that happen.
  8. To be sexually expressed as a woman it’s important to know YOUR sexual needs.
  9. A woman’s sexuality is vast and far-reaching. A woman’s essence is healing. Understand the power of your sexual energy. When you express your sexuality in a wholesome way it is a paradigm shifter.
  10. Knowing your sexual needs is empowering. Self-discovery and self-pleasuring (as opposed to only routine masturbation) are important in order to have a fulfilling sex life.
  11. And most importantly what the standard Sex Ed classes don’t teach you is how your sexuality is sacred. It’s something you should hold dear and near to her heart.

In conclusion, there is so much more for you to discover about your sexuality. Learning about one’s sexuality is, in my opinion, a lifelong journey. Please don’t rely on the Sex Ed you received in school, from your parents and society for the flowering of your sexuality. Take the time to inform yourself about your sexuality. It’s an important part of life, relationships, and your soul’s evolution.

What resonated most with you in this article and why? What can you apply in your life right now?

Leave a comment below and let me know. Thousands of other people come here each week for inspiration, information and wisdom. Your comment may provide support to someone else and be exactly what they needed to hear.

Thanks for being here and for adding your perspective. Please share this post with others you love.

I’m Anna-Thea an author and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. If you want to know more about honoring your body and have a deeper understanding of your sexuality make sure you check out my course
Sex Ed You Didn’t Learn From Your Mother.

Love Quiz