How to Tell If You Show More Masculine Or Feminine Energy
Did you know that, as a woman, you have both masculine and feminine energies in you? Though you anatomically may be male or female you are not masculine OR feminine… you are a blend of both. You might even have more masculine energies given we live in such a “masculinized” society. How can you tell if you have more masculine or feminine energy? Do you know the difference between these two energies?
Feminine Energies have the qualities of softness, receptivity and expansiveness. These qualities draw on intuition and tapping into those things that aren’t necessarily seen with the naked eye. Seeing beyond what is there and somehow knowing. Feminine energy is about Being rather than Doing.
The main thing about feminine energy is that it is receptive. Just like women anatomically are “the innies”, female energy is about staying open to receive; receive guidance, receive touch, receive support for example. Not having to go anywhere or do anything. Feminine energy is about slowing down and relaxing, letting go and allowing the flow of life to take its course. It is about being present and not directing the flow of events as much as allowing the events to unfold. Going with the flow is an example of feminine energy. But too much feminine energy can leave you vulnerable.
Going Along to Get Along
You know you are showing too much feminine energy when you are sacrificing your truth. Possibly even allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. For example, someone asks you to do something that you know isn’t what you want but you keep your mouth shut and don’t say anything because you don’t want to hurt them and you want to be accepted by them. You say yes to their request when you really want to say no OR you “go along to get along” with a person or a group of people and you sacrifice what is true for you.
There are also times when you put on a happy face and pretend that it is okay when really you are, especially over time, seething inside. You tell yourself, “I should have said no from the very beginning. Look what I have gotten myself into.” This is quite dangerous to live this way. Especially in an intimate relationship. Your feminine energy is not working in your favor because it needs to be balanced and contained with some masculine energy.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
You need to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Your masculine energy would be, in this case, your protector. It would be assertive and give you the courage to speak your truth and say, “Thanks, but no thank you” or “That doesn’t work for me”, for example.
It is not a matter of masculine OR feminine energy. You need a balance of BOTH. When they work together you create a more harmonious life for yourself. You know when to move forward, when to step back and when to stay still in life situations. So even as a woman, masculine energy is important to have, but in balance.
Masculine energy is single focused. It is physical rather than subtle. Masculine energy is about Doing. It is logical rather than intuitive. If you can’t see it then it doesn’t exist. Masculine energy is the container and the water inside the container is the feminine. If you didn’t have the container the water would be a mess all over the floor.
Just as men anatomically are the “outies”, masculine energy is a giving energy or an energy that is moving outward, penetrating and directing energy in a certain way. Your masculine energy is your protector when used in a healthy way.
You know you are showing too much masculine energy when you are being over controlling. In some way or another we are all controlling. We must take charge of our lives however, we don’t live in a vacuum and there are other people to consider.
If you are overbearing and have impulses to control everything in your environment, including other’s actions, you are showing too much masculine energy. You have heard of micromanaging. And you have probably heard that you can’t change other people, the only person you can change is yourself.
If you are showing too much masculine energy you are completely forgetting the previously mentioned piece of wisdom. You try to manage everyone in your life and take charge of others without their consent or consideration. Without trusting in the process and knowing others have their own inner guidance to navigate their lives. That is controlling.
Sometimes this controlling comes in a very covert package. Then it is called manipulation. Often, we manipulate without even knowing we are doing it… or do we?
A good example of showing too much masculine energy is when a woman can’t slow down and relax. She must stay busy. Maybe she stays busy by keeping her house anal retentively clean or working too much. Maybe she stays busy in her life by tending to others needs more than her own. You know, the woman who loves too much and loses herself in relationship or in over-service to her kids and family. A helicopter mom. Is her mothering showing too much masculine or feminine energy? Though she is female, doing a traditionally female task, she is showing too much masculine energy.
Super Mom or Super Wife
Though it is changing, culturally we have praised the super mom or super wife. You would think a super mom is an expression of an abundance of feminine energy, but she is expressing too much masculine energy. These women don’t know the fine art of slowing down and taking care of themselves. There focus is outward (masculine) toward other members of the family. These types of women typically don’t take time to slow down, go inward, and tap into the self-nurturing energies of exploring one’s inner world. Their attention is so focused on others wants and needs, they have a tough time tapping into their own.
If they were to slow down they would be faced with having to feel. What they might find could be uncomfortable feelings such as boredom, fear, anxiety, worry or frustration to name a few. Many of us are like this. Our culture has conditioned us to run from these feelings by going, going, going. By creating a super busy lifestyle where we are doing, doing, doing. The feminine is about being rather than doing.
Feminine or Masculine
The above examples are two examples of where masculine or feminine energies are out of balance and not being expressed in a healthy way. Which energy, masculine or feminine, do you need to cultivate more of? And how does that look in your life to bring both into balance. What do you need more of? More doing or more being? More trusting in the process and allowing or more asserting yourself, speaking your truth and creating healthy boundaries? Life is a dance. Relationships are a dance. The interplay with others is a delicate, ever changing process.
Becoming more aware of how you express your feminine and masculine energies is important for good relating. Knowing how to express these energies in healthy ways is crucial for creating intimacy.
I’m Anna-Thea, an intimacy coach. I help to empower in the area of intimacy and love. If you would like to
find out more about how to create more fulfilling relationships, contact me at 702-306-3084 or
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