How To Tell If You Show More Masculine Or Feminine Energy
Did you know that, as a woman, you have both masculine and feminine energy? Though you anatomically may be male or female you’re not masculine OR feminine… you’re a blend of both. You might even have more masculine energies given we live in such a “masculinized” society.
Is your female energy in hiding?
What feminine aspects are missing in your life?
And how would developing them create more happiness?
First, you need to become aware of the masculine and feminine aspects you’re expressing. Can you tell if you have more masculine or feminine energy? Do you know the difference between these two energies?
What is feminine energy?
Feminine energy is receptive, soft, fluid, allowing, nurturing, sensual, empathetic, flexible, emotional, and expressed through the subtle realm.
What is masculine energy?
Masculine energy is focused, goal oriented, stable, strong, structured, logical, driven, and expressed through the physical realm.
How much do you love your feminine side?
The biggest benefits for me of loving my feminine side has been knowing how to take care of myself emotionally. A skill that has served me well in the midst of life’s stresses and pressures. For that reason getting connected to the feminine aspects within me has been extremely healing and empowering. Simply put, when you love and honor your feminine side you’ll have a more balanced and happier life.
Your Feminine Energy
Feminine Energies have the qualities of softness, receptivity, and expansiveness. These qualities draw on intuition and tapping into those things that aren’t necessarily seen with the naked eye. Seeing beyond what is there
and somehow knowing. Feminine energy is about Being rather than Doing. Being feminine is learning how to BE.
Feminine energy is receptive. Being feminine means being receptive. Just like women anatomically are “the innies”, female energy is about staying open to receive; receive intuitive guidance, receive touch, receive support for example. Not having to go anywhere or do anything. Feminine energy is about slowing down and relaxing, letting go and allowing the flow of life to take its course. It’s about being present and not directing the flow of events as much as allowing the events to unfold. Going with the flow is an example of feminine energy. But too much feminine energy can leave you vulnerable.
Too Much Feminine Energy
You know you’re showing too much feminine energy when you are sacrificing your truth. Possibly even allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. For example, someone asks you to do something that you know isn’t what you want but you keep your mouth shut and don’t say anything because you don’t want to hurt them and you want to be accepted by them. You say yes to their request when you really want to assert yourself and say no. You “go along to get along” with a person or a group of people and you sacrifice what is true for you.
And are there times when you put on a happy face and pretend that everything is okay when you’re, especially over time, seething inside? You tell yourself, “I should have said no from the very beginning. Look what I have gotten myself into.” This is an unhealthy way to live. Especially in an intimate relationship. Your feminine energy is not supporting you. It needs to be balanced and contained with some masculine energy.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
You need to set healthy boundaries for yourself. Your masculine energy would be, in this case, your protector. It would be assertive and give you the courage to speak your truth and stand up for yourself. Your masculine energy would say, “Thanks, but no thank you” or “That doesn’t work for me”, for example.
It’s not a matter of masculine OR feminine energy. You need a balance of BOTH. When they work together you create a more harmonious life for yourself. You know when to move forward, when to step back and when to stay still in life situations. So even as a woman, masculine energy is important to have, but in balance.
You could also call setting healthy boundaries using your feminine power. Because setting healthy boundaries aren’t barricades. You aren’t shutting people out of your heart. Maybe you won’t see them anymore but your heart isn’t closed off. Feminine power is strong yet soft; loving yet not wishy-washy.
Masculine energy is single focused. It’s physical rather than subtle. Masculine energy is about Doing rather than Being. It is logical rather than intuitive; if you can’t see it then it doesn’t exist. Masculine energy is the container and the water inside the container is the feminine. If you didn’t have the container the water would be a mess all over the floor.
Just as men anatomically are the “outies”, masculine energy is a giving energy or an energy that is moving outward, penetrating and directing energy in a certain way. Your masculine energy is your protector when used in a healthy way.
You know you’re showing too much masculine energy when you’re being over controlling. In some way or another, we are all controlling. We must take charge of our lives however, we don’t live in a vacuum and there are other people to consider.
If you’re overbearing and have impulses to control your environment, including other’s actions, you’re showing too much masculine energy. You’re micromanaging your life and not trusting in the process. You can’t change other people, the only person you can change is yourself.
If you’re showing too much masculine energy you’re resisting life itself. When you try to manage everyone in your life and take charge of others, especially without their consent or consideration, you disconnect from the flow of life. Without trusting in the process and knowing others have their own inner guidance, you create a disconnect in your relationships.
Often controlling behaviors aren’t so obvious. Then it’s called manipulation. Often, we manipulate without even knowing we’re doing it… or do we?
A good example of showing too much masculine energy is when a woman can’t slow down and relax. She must stay busy. Maybe she stays busy by keeping her house anal retentively clean or working too much. Maybe she stays busy in her life by tending to others needs more than her own. You know, the woman who loves too much and loses herself in a relationship or in over-service to her kids and family. A helicopter mom. Is her mothering showing too much masculine or feminine energy? Though she’s female, doing a traditionally female task, she is showing too much masculine energy.
Super Mom or Super Wife
Though it’s changing, culturally we have praised the super mom or super wife. You would think a super mom is an expression of abundant feminine energy. But a super mom is actually expressing too much masculine energy.
These women don’t know the fine art of slowing down and taking care of themselves. They’ve lost connection to being feminine and their female energy. Their focus is outward (masculine) toward other members of the family. These types of women typically don’t take time to slow down, go inward, and tap into the self-nurturing energies of exploring one’s inner world. Their attention is so focused on others wants and needs, they have a tough time tapping into their own.
If they were to slow down they would have to face themselves. What they might find are uncomfortable feelings such as boredom, fear, anxiety, worry or frustration. Many of us are like this. Our culture has conditioned us to run from uncomfortable feelings. Staying busy instead of stopping to feel. By creating a super busy lifestyle of doing, doing, doing we lose connection to the healing properties of the feminine and her state of being.
A famous spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson said in one of her blog articles about holistic feminism,”I experienced a disconnection from my feminine self as I strove to actualize the masculine within me. Finding the complementary relationship between my inner and outer self has been a life-long effort.” So don’t be hard on yourself as you find the balance between your masculine and feminine energy.
The above examples show us where masculine or feminine energies are out of balance and aren’t expressed in healthy ways.
Being Feminine or Being Masculine
To balance your male and female energy as yourself:
- Which energy, masculine or feminine, do I need to cultivate more of?
- What does it look like to bring both into balance?
- What do I need more of? More doing or more being?
- Do I need to be more allowing or assertive?
- Can I speak up for yourself?
- Am I speaking my truth and creating healthy boundaries?
Life is a dance. Relationships are a dance. The interplay with others is a delicate, ever-changing process. Learn to use your feminine power wisely by connecting to the masculine and feminine aspects in you that are uplifting.
Becoming more aware of how you express your feminine and masculine energies is important for good relating. Knowing how to express these energies in healthy ways is crucial for creating intimacy.
I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Divine Feminine Educator. If you’d like to put more feminine aspects into the way you communicate, deal with your emotions or how you perceive your sexuality, I can help. Check out my online school The Art of Self Love & Emotional Empowerment. Your power and wisdom can be found by creating a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energy.
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