Why Feminine Energy Makes Communicating Easier
I want to share with you why feminine energy makes communicating easier and cultivates a more sacred way of relating.
When was the last time you really felt nurtured, listened to, and considered?
Do you feel heard and understood by your man or partner? Do you feel you are treated with great kindness and consideration? Or do you more often feel either left out or misunderstood by your man? Maybe he didn’t call. Maybe he didn’t think of something that was totally obvious to you and it ended up hurting you deeply.
These are the things that happen in relationships. The other person isn’t in tune with what is going on with their partner. It is painful when someone you love “doesn’t notice.”
They don’t notice your …
This is happening more often than not in intimate relationships. And it causes a great deal of emotional pain.
What would it take for us to be able to tune into each other? What would it take to be able to communicate it a way that allows for a sacred union between two people?
Seems like it would take A LOT more feminine energy than exists inside today’s typical intimate relationships.
If you want more considerate, kindness, and caring you need to slow down in the communication department.
Slowing down means tapping into your feminine energy.
Notice your aggressive behavior.
You may be aggressive and not even know it.
I recently heard a couple arguing and the woman bitingly said: “I hate you.” Minutes later the couple was fine as if nothing had happened. “I hate you” is aggressive, attacking language. That type of languaging seeds resentment in an intimate relationship. The receiver of that type of communication can’t help but feel knocked down in their heart.
Aggressive, attacking language is not a form of feminine energy.
Feminine energy makes communicating easier, is nurturing and receptive.
In my Communicating to Create Connection course I teach what I call Heart Talk, a more feminine and softer way of communicating. But believe me, it is not for the weak. In order to speak from your heart, which is what Heart Talk, requires, you have to be able to feel. You can’t fake Heart Talk. And Heart talk is extremely empowering.
For the woman in the above example who said to her man, “I hate you”, in Heart Talk language she would have noticed her frustration, known how to be there for herself emotionally, and said, for example, “I need more patience right now.” Or “I need your acceptance in this moment.” These are just two ways she could have implemented Heart Talk to stop putting another brick on the wall that keeps the two of them from a sweeter sense of connection.
Furthermore, the language that we speak between two lovers can often be not very loving. It can be aggressive, oppressive and hurtful. It is not feminine.
Feminine energy makes communicating easier.
Slow down in your communication, especially when you are upset.
Listen to how you speak
Listen to what words you choose.
Are they nurturing and loving?
Are they gentle and kind?
It is totally ok to be mad. Your emotions are valid. But don’t project your anger onto your partner. Learn how to take care of yourself emotionally. Look to see what is underneath all that anger, resentment and sometimes even seething hatred. I bet you will find real gold. Like believing you aren’t good enough, pretty enough or even capable enough. Those beliefs aren’t your partner’s fault. Maybe he’s just validating those for you.
I used the expression “find real gold” because once you realize you are having these disempowering and false beliefs about yourself, you can change them.
I am finding that so many women are in abusive relationships.
Their men are using abusive language to communicate. It is very hurtful. In addition, often without the guy even knowing how it is being received. Yet, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying all men are like this. I am saying if your man is abusive and he uses aggressive language to communicate with you, using your feminine energy makes communicating easier.
It could be your only “weapon.”
And I am not talking about using your erotic feminine energy or sexual power to control him. What I am talking about is creating a personal boundary for yourself that you will not engage in such language. Instead, you will drop down into your feminine side and begin to nurture yourself, come to your rescue, set healthy boundaries and give those boundaries a clear voice.
If you do this you will communicate in a whole new, more empowered way.
This takes lots of courage!
You may even no longer be in a relationship and that is actually the risk you have to take to use feminine energy to make communicating easier. Someone has to stop the battle, abuse, and aggression. If it isn’t coming from your partner then it needs to come from you.
You decide self-love is more important.
Feminine energy makes communicating easier because you have committed to putting down your sword. Because you have committed to letting go of the internal struggle and claiming self-love over anything else. Probably, you are no longer engaged in GI Joe tactics. Instead, you are processing your emotions and triggers in a productive way. And you are using Heart Talk to communicate instead of reactive responses.
This takes lots of practice.
Knowing how your feminine energy makes communicating easier could be a lifelong practice. But a lifelong practice worth embarking on! And so much better than making an intimate relationship a stage for World War III.
Your feminine energy makes communicating easier, you just need to connect more with your feminine side. Ultimately, your feminine side is your rescue remedy! Therefore, you need to learn how to channel feminine energy. If the abuse is in the language then it is most likely in the bedroom too. Better sex requires better communication. But that is another subject.
For now, know that using feminine energy and heart talk in your relationship is the only way you will experience more connection and consideration. Furthermore, it is the only way you will shift your relationships to one where you feel truly heard and understand. Ultimately, you need to give what you want to get. And it all takes lots of courage and practice to create these new, more empowering relationship dynamics. I am here to help you.
I’m Anna-Thea, an intimacy educator. Want to feel more empowered and loved by your partner? Then, you need to first create that from within yourself. I can help. If you would like to find out more I have a list of online courses I teach through the year. I also have a Communicating To Create Connection course that will change the way you communicate for the better.