who not to take relationship advice from

Who Not To Take Relationship Advice From

It may sound pretty obvious who not to take relationship advice from but I bet you do it all the time. There is one person you should not get relationship advice from. It is your girlfriend who is struggling with relationship problems herself and not doing anything constructive about it.

Knowing Who Not To Take Relationship Advice From Is Important

Are you turning to your girlfriend for relationship advice? How healthy is her relationship? Remember what Einstein said… something to the effect of a problem cannot be solved from the consciousness from which it was created.

If your girlfriend is stuck in a bad relationship. You know the type of girlfriend. One who loves too much and loses herself in a relationship. And I’m not trying to bad rap women either. I am just wanting you to be aware. This lovely lady is not one to turn to for relationship advice. She can’t help you in that department. She is exactly who not to take relationship advice from. And keep that in mind.

You might really love her. Maybe you have known her since elementary school and you go way back. You would do anything for her. And there is lots of love between the two of you. I am not invalidating any of that.

And go ahead and be open about your struggles in your relationship if you feel called to. I mean you both care about each other but don’t lose sight of who not to take relationship advice from. It would be like the blind leading the blind. More specifically don’t expect to get good relationship advice from a girlfriend who has victim or co-dependent behavior in her own intimate relationship.

You will know who not to take relationship advice from if their own relationship behavior has some of these characteristics.

They:

  • feel unappreciated, and used.
  • assume what others want or need.
  • tend to be over-controlling.
  • assume what others want or need.
  • think and feel responsible for other people’s feelings.
  • Offer unwanted advice, giving their opinion in an effort to be helpful.
  • feel angry when their advice is ignored or disregarded.
  • do things other people are fully capable of doing for themselves.
  • don’t validate their own needs and make others needs more important.
  • try to people please so as not to make waves.
  • complain about their situation but aren’t doing something constructive about it.
  • overcommit themselves to others.
  • believe their mate is making them crazy.
  • feel unappreciated, and used.
  • have poor boundaries ie,  saying yes when they mean no.

And by no means does this person have to be your girlfriend. Who not to take relationship advice from can include anyone. Your parents, your siblings, your co-worker, your boss can also be people you shouldn’t take relationship advice from. However, you may not be as close to them and you may not seek out advice from them. Nor know much about their personal life.

Also, bare in mind relationship advice for women can be different from relationship advice for a man.

So… in a nutshell. If you are turning to your girlfriend for relationship advice make sure she isn’t doing those things mentioned above. Even if she loves you and is well intended she probably won’t be able to offer you what you need in the department of relationship advice. Still love her, of course, but be wary of taking her advice.

I’m Anna-Thea, an intimacy coach, author, and teacher. I would love to hear from you. What do you think about relationship advice and who not to get it from? Feel free to make a comment below the blog.

My passion is helping women to have good relationships. In my Mastering Your Emotions course I teach women how to free themselves from “victimhood” and co-dependent behaviors. Call me direct at 702-306-3984 for a personal consultation.

 

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