what is dark feminine energy - a woman in a dark room looking pensive

This is What Dark Feminine Energy Is – Do You Express It?

Why do you do what you do? What are your motivations? Especially in your intimate relationships. Answering these questions will help you to know what is dark feminine energy. And how to access the power of the “dark feminine.”

Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy. Feminine energy, like everything else, has its positive and negative expressions. The more you understand yourself, especially the parts you don’t want to face, the more self-love and self-empowerment you’ll have. I know you love yourself but there’s always more self-love that can be cultivated. Do you fully honor and love your feminine side?

In this article, I want to help you understand light and dark feminine energy. I’ll give you some examples of unconscious dark feminine traits. I’ll also talk about the power of the dark feminine and why it’s actually not dark but rather the empowered feminine.

To answer the question “What is dark feminine energy?”, you need to look at the dark side of yourself

It’s easy to ignore your least desirable personality traits. But bringing more awareness to them is how you grow. To know yourself, you must accept all of you. Even your bad qualities. Or rather… especially your bad qualities. That’s actually how you empower yourself.

We all have a dark side. In psychology, it is called the shadow. They are aspects of your personality (usually negative but not always) that you’re unaware of. As much as you may not want to hear this, it’s this dark side or unconscious part of you that causes challenges in your intimate relationships.

To understand another’s dark side, you must first develop compassion and awareness of your own dark side. Becoming aware of your dark femininity and how it negatively affects your relationships will enhance your life. This is the maturation process of the soul.

What is dark feminine?

The dark feminine is often expressed in it’s unconscious and disempowering form. And that form of dark femininity can be expressed in as many forms as there are aspects to your personality. Another name for it could be the wounded feminine. But when you bring awareness to the shadow side of the feminine you have access to great power.

The Shadow Side of the Feminine

It’s the unconscious and dis-empowered
part of the feminine.

A few examples of what dis-empowered dark feminine energy is:

  • Using sex to control another
  • Being Clingy
  • Lack of confidence
  • Manipulating others instead of speaking your truth
  • Having sex with someone you are repulsed by
  • Faking an orgasm
  • Being a Drama Queen

What are your expressions of dark feminine energy? How have they affected your life?

Below are 3 all too common expressions of what dark feminine energy is. These are examples of dark feminine traits that will dis-empower you. And it’s good to become aware of them.

1. A Drama Queen

Women are emotional. This is not negative. Your emotions can actually be a source of your empowerment. But only if you know how to manage them. However, being a drama queen is the opposite of managing your emotions and is a good example of dis-empowered dark feminine energy.

A drama queen is when a woman has no self-awareness of her emotions. It’s an example of repressed feminine energy. She’s not emotionally empowered. She allows herself to spin out of control like a tornado destroying everything in her path. She uses being over-emotional as an unconscious way to manipulate and control others.

Society has taught you (and all of us) to repress your emotions. That they’re bad. But the problem is that emotions don’t go away, they just come out sideways in what I call the 3 D’s, Disease, Drama and Depression.

If you’re a drama queen it’s a perfect example of how disconnected you are from your emotions. You let them control you. And you’re not bringing the light of consciousness to the feelings you’re experiencing in your body.

Master Your Emotions - A woman on the beach feeling free!
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I’m not making you wrong. I used to be a drama queen too. That’s why I teach this stuff. It’s important to understand what’s happening when uncomfortable feelings arise.

When your body is experiencing uncomfortable feelings, the mind becomes overactive.

You start overthinking, especially about your life challenges. Then because of your overactive mind, life becomes overwhelming, the feelings want expression and your Drama Queen alter ego takes front and center stage.

Here are some examples

  • Stir up conflict out of boredom
  • Immature Outbursts and Tantrums
  • Can’t give it a break – drag out a conflict

Learning how to calm your mind and allow your emotions to be a source of empowerment instead of a source of sabotage, control or manipulation is how you master your emotions.

You do this by learning how to properly process your emotions instead of repressing them. When you do you’ll transform your dark feminine energy into your personal empowerment.

2. Not Honoring the Sacredness of Sexual Union

Sexual union is an extremely intimate act. Far too many people, both men, and women take sex and sexual union lightly. My teacher once told me, “sex is very sticky.” She was not referring to the messiness of our fluids. She was referring to the energy bonding that occurs when two people have intercourse.

Energetically, sexual union binds two people together. In the name of free love and sex, and even women’s liberation, many women ignore this dynamic, suffering greatly later because of it.

Taking On Another’s Karma

Some spiritual traditions believe when you have intercourse with another you take on their karma. If this is true, having sex with a stranger, takes on a whole new perspective. What are you getting into? Besides the risk of STD’s, what are you walking away with? Someone else’s problems?

When you have sex with a man, as a woman, it’s very easy to receive his energetic imprint. Especially if he’s someone you have an ongoing sexual relationship with. That’s why many women don’t do well with the “friend’s with benefits” arrangement.

Women, women’s bodies and their sexuality are to be honored. And it’s an inside job. If you don’t honor the sacredness of your body everyone loses. As you get connected to the power of your divine feminine essence you’ll literally transform dark feminine energy into divine light.

Divine Feminine

Why is claiming the power of your divine feminine so important? It’s because disempowered women create a disempowered world. An example of a disempowered woman is a woman who feels she must fake an orgasm.

3. Faking Orgasm

I’m a woman’s advocate. Especially for women’s pleasure. One of the courses I teach is called Manifesting More Pleasure. It’s my idealistic belief that the key to peace on the planet is through having women experience more pleasure in the bedroom. Historically there has just been way too much duty in the bedroom.

Faking an orgasm is what I consider a dark expression of feminine energy. But the female body was designed for pleasure. I like to consider a woman’s whole body her pleasure center. Not just her genitals and breasts.

I want to point out a key concept. I’m talking about your pleasure. Not using your body primarily for someone else’s pleasure. And I think our culture has that a bit mixed up.

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In my Manifesting More Pleasure course what often comes up in the discussion is a woman’s feeling of duty in the bedroom. It’s a sad state of affairs if all a woman feels is a sense of duty when it comes to sexual intimacy with the man she loves; the man with whom she is sharing her life with.

Faking an Orgasm is Repressed Feminine Energy

Never faking an orgasm, ever again, is the single biggest thing you can do to free herself from dark femininity. When you fake an orgasm nobody benefits!

One of a man’s deepest desires is to see a woman in a state of pleasure and ecstasy. Unfortunately, all too often women are putting on a show in the hopes of getting it over with.

Please don’t do this! It completely confuses your sexual response system. Women have enough of a problem receiving the pleasure they deserve. Confusing your sexual response system just makes it worse.

Now that I’ve given you three examples of disempowered dark feminine energy I want to discuss the empowered side of the dark feminine. In other words the light side of the dark feminine as opposed to the dark side of the dark feminine.

Accessing the Power of the
Dark Feminine

Once you have really looked at the shadow side of the feminine that’s operating in your life you’ll be able to access the power of the dark feminine. It’s the transformation of both light and dark feminine energy.

You see we’ve been so programmed to think that being a woman, a sensual, sexual woman is sinful. That comes from deep regligious and cultural programming.

Once you have healed that part of you that conforms to the norms of society and make honoring your truth more important, you’ll have access to your true divine feminine power.

Deep Emotional, Sexual, Sensual Healing Experiences

When you are not operating from repressed feminine energy your feminine side will be strong, sensual, and passionate. You’ll embody your authentic power because you have mastered the ability to go deep into emotional, sensual, and sexual experiences.

And these experiences have empowered you because they included a connection to the divine. An experience that gave you a glimpse of spiritual freedom.

When light and dark feminine energy meet in the heart it is transformed. This is sexual healing. Non-repressed feminine energy is expressed in a woman who has claimed her sexual power through her own sexual healing experiences.

Her sexual energy is not used to manipulate or control another. Rather she embodies this kundalini energy as her own divine power. A power that liberates her because she no longer holds societal sexual shame.

She has brought light to the dark feminine to reveal ancient wisdom that in the past used to be honored. This was during pre-patriarchal times.

The Power of the Dark Feminine is Expressed as Sacred Sexuality

The power of the dark feminine is expressed as sacred sexuality. This positive expression of the dark feminine brings us back to our ancient roots. A time when we understood our sexuality was sacred and healing. It is not distorted or evil as our patriarchal and puritan lenses would want us to believe.

As the patriarchal culture took hold all the inherent traits, gifts and talents of the feminine were oppressed. Things like, intuition, natural healing, listening to your heart over the logic of your head, and honoring your female body as sacred. This oppression distorted human sexuality and made the female body the scapegoat.

So as you work through the shadow side of your feminine, as described in the 3 examples above, you’ll be able to access the power of the dark feminine. And then this dark feminine becomes light. And your true authentic divine feminine power.  

You Will: 

  • Claim your body as sacred including your sexuality.
  • Experience your sexuality as a healing force not a manipulating one.
  • Know that you are equal to man and not subservient to him.
  • Not dominate and control nor will you allow yourself to be.

You are free from the ancient shackles of patriarchy that’s entrenched in the physical world.You honor your heart’s true desires and have access to your divine creative expression that makes you uniquely you.

In this sense you know how to dance with the light and dark feminine energy within you. You own your inner passions and don’t compromise your authentic self.

Leading with Love Not Fear

You lead with love, not fear, therefore pleasure (not pain) and heart-centered wisdom (not head-centered logic) are your guiding principles.

And you know that with these guiding principles you’ll bump up against current cultural norms. But you’ll work through any doubt because you are committed to the re-emergence of this divine feminine wisdom and power.

And in that effort, you’ll have to be bold, unapologetic, and fearless in order to let your true feminine power immerge.

Working with the dark feminine inside you is a restoration of the divine feminine, ie reclaiming your sexuality, your sensuality, your body as sacred, and your essence as Divine.

Whether you are male or female, reclaim that part of you that has been in the shadow. Have the courage to be your true self. This is the power the dark feminine can bring you.

To sum it up. Your dark feminine energy isn’t BAD. It’s simply the unconscious part of you wanting to become conscious. It’s ancient wisdom wanting to no longer be repressed but rather rebirthed. Ultimately you, like everybody else, just wants to be loved.

Start leading with love and your true light and dark feminine energy will surface for full transformation.

There are many expressions of dark feminine energy just as there are many expressions of good and bad. How is it being expressed in you and what is wanting to be healed? Being a drama queen, not honoring the sacredness of sexual union and faking orgasms are just 3 examples of dark feminine energy.

What is it for you? Your feminine soul is yearning to grow by bringing more awareness to your dark side.

I’m Anna-Thea, an author, and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. If this article resonated with you and you’d like to transform your dark feminine energy into powerful healing light check out my online course Unlock Your Divine Feminine Power with Love.

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  1. Charlotte Lauder

    Great read, it brought me an insight to the dark feminine, I’ve just got an insight into my dark masculine – thank you

  2. Cherine

    Sorry Anna – this is not how I view the Dark Feminine. She is fierce, in control, fully in her Power, unapologetically sexual, will call you out on your bullshit, push back on abuse and disrespect and get justice the old fashioned way. She doesn’t shirk and hide, she is bold and clever. She is the Woman all men want and fear, and Women want her and to their core want to be her. When she walks, the masses part for her.

    You made her the antithesis, weak and petty.

  3. Love this!!! Thank you Cherine for this point of view of the Dark Feminine. I totally agree. You are describing the polar opposite of the dark feminine from my description. We live in a polarized dimension. So i was only describing the dark side of the dark feminine. Your description is the light side of the dark feminine. Thank you for bringing this to light!!!! Super! 🙂

  4. Marloes

    I agree with Cherine, this is not the dark feminine, this is the wounded feminine and masculine energy you are describing.

  5. Luxe Indigo

    While I can agree with many points you make, I had a hard time reading because I feel as though you are describing the dark feminine incorrectly. It seems like you view the dark feminine as inherently negative, which she is absolutely not. I urge you to further educate yourself on the dark feminine. You said yourself in this article, “dance with the light and dark feminine energy within you.” ..one cannot exist without the other. Both hold great power and being in tune with them both, or dancing with them both, can and will present great benefit to the empowered and aware woman. Not only for her, but also those around her.
    Also, I wanted to share with you an acronym for SEX that may resonate with you and others as it did me. Sacred Energy eXchange. Tapping into this and using this is the incredible power of the dark feminine.

  6. Thank you for your comment. I’d love to hear your description of the dark feminine. I think my Neptune and venus placements in my chart lend to some naive aspects or idealism when it comes to dark energy. Thank you for calling me on it. I dive deep and have plenty of dark but I come in as a mystic and I think from a world of light. Who really knows. But it has been through diving deep into my shadow side that I have had big transformation. Warmly, Anna-Thea

  7. Sunil

    Thank you very much for the post. Very true and valuable information to shed light in my current situation.

  8. Hello

    I’m done thinking about other men and what they want from me. Most times they don’t want me or appreciate what I offered. Now I offer nothing to a man. I will never give anything to a man ever. He will suffer before he gets anything from me.

  9. Thank you for your share. I can feel your pain. And I know how that feels. I’ve been there. The only thing that saved me was my continued journey of self-love. I hope you are on my email list and receiving my offerings – they will support you.

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