what is dark feminine energy - a woman in a dark room looking pensive

Answering Your Question What is Dark Feminine Energy

Why do you do what you do? What are your motivations? Especially in your intimate relationships. Answering these questions will help you to know what is dark feminine energy.

Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy. Feminine energy, like everything else, has its positive and negative expressions. The more you understand yourself, especially the parts you don’t want to face, the more self-love and self-compassion you’ll develop. I know you love yourself but there’s always more self-love that can be cultivated. Do you fully honor and love your feminine side?

In this article, I want to help you understand the dark side of the feminine. It’ll also help you understand where to up your self-love.

To answer the question “What is dark feminine energy?”, we need to look at the dark side of ourselves.

We tend to ignore our least desirable personality traits. Bringing more awareness to them is how we grow. To know yourself, you must accept all of you. Even your bad qualities. Or rather… especially your bad qualities.

We all have a dark side. In psychology, it is called the shadow. They are aspects of your personality (usually negative but not always) that you’re unaware of. As much as you may not want to hear this, it’s this dark side or unconscious part of you that causes challenges in your intimate relationships.

To understand another’s dark side, you must first develop compassion and awareness of your own. This is the maturation process of the soul.

What is dark feminine energy?
It’s the unconscious part of the feminine.

It comes in as many forms as there are aspects to our personalities.

A few examples of what is dark feminine energy are:

  • Using sex to control another
  • Being Clingy
  • Lack of confidence
  • Manipulating others instead of speaking your truth
  • Having sex with someone you are repulsed by
  • Faking an orgasm
  • Being a Drama Queen

What are your expressions of dark feminine energy? How have they affected your life?

Below are 3 all too common expressions of what is dark feminine energy.

  1. Drama Queen

    Women are emotional. This is not negative. I teach women to understand how their emotions can be a source of empowerment. However, being a drama queen is a good example of what is dark feminine energy.

    A drama queen is when a woman has no self-awareness of her emotions. She’s not emotionally empowered. She allows herself to spin out of control like a tornado destroying everything in her path. She uses being over emotional as an unconscious way to manipulate and control others.

    Society has taught you (and all of us) to repress your emotions. That they’re bad. But the problem is that emotions don’t go away, they just come out sideways. If you’re a drama queen it’s a perfect example of how disconnected you are to your emotions. You let them control you. And you’re not bringing the light of consciousness to the feelings you’re experiencing in your body.

    I’m not making you wrong. I used to be a drama queen too. That’s why I teach this stuff. It’s important to understand what’s happening when uncomfortable feelings arise.

    When your body is experiencing uncomfortable feelings, what happens is the mind becomes overactive.

    You start overthinking, especially about your life challenges. Then because of your overactive mind, life becomes overwhelming, the feelings want expression and your Drama Queen alter ego takes front and center stage. Learning how to calm your mind and allow your emotions to be a source of empowerment instead of a source of sabotage, control or manipulation is how you master your emotions. You master your emotions by learning how to properly process your emotions instead of repressing them. When you do you’ll transform what is your dark feminine energy into your personal empowerment.

  2. Not Honoring the Sacredness of Sexual Union

    Sexual union is an extremely intimate act. Far too many people, both men, and women take sex and sexual union lightly. My teacher once told me, “sex is very sticky.” She was not referring to the messiness of our fluids. She was referring to the bond that is creating when two people have intercourse.

    Energetically, sexual union binds two people together. In the name of free love and sex, and even women’s liberation, many women ignore this dynamic, suffering greatly later because of it.

    Taking On Another’s Karma

    Some spiritual traditions believe when you have intercourse with another you take on their karma. If this is true, having sex with a stranger, takes on a whole new perspective. What are you getting into? Besides the risk of STD’s, what are you walking away with? Someone else’s problems?

    When you have sex with a man, as a woman, it’s very easy to receive his energetic imprint. Especially if he’s someone you have an ongoing sexual relationship with. That’s why many women don’t do well with the “friend’s with benefits” arrangement.

    Women, women’s bodies and their sexuality are to be honored. And it’s an inside job. If you don’t honor the sacredness of your body everyone loses.

    Disempowered women create a disempowered world. A good example of a disempowered woman is a woman who feels she must fake an orgasm.

  3. Faking Orgasm

    I’m a woman’s advocate. Especially for women’s pleasure. One of the courses I teach is called Manifesting More Pleasure. It is my grandiose belief the key to peace on the planet is through having women experience more pleasure in the bedroom. Faking an orgasm is what I consider a dark expression of feminine energy.

    The female body was designed for pleasure. I like to consider a woman’s whole body her pleasure center. Not just her genitals and breasts. I want to point out a key thing here though. I’m talking about your pleasure. Not using your body primarily for someone else’ pleasure. And I think our culture has that a bit mixed up.

    In my Manifesting More Pleasure course what often comes up in the discussion is a woman’s feeling of duty in the bedroom. It’s a sad state of affairs if all a woman feels is a sense of duty when it comes to sexual intimacy with the man she loves; the man with whom she is sharing her life with.

    Never Fake An Orgasm

    Never faking an orgasm, ever again, is the single biggest thing a woman can do to free herself from dark feminine energy. When a woman fakes an orgasm nobody benefits! One of a man’s deepest desires is to see a woman in a state of pleasure and ecstasy. Unfortunately, all too often women are putting on a show in the hopes of getting it over with.

    Please don’t do this! It completely confuses your sexual response system. Women have enough of a problem receiving the pleasure they deserve. Confusing the sexual response system just makes it worse.

To sum it up. Your dark feminine energy isn’t BAD. It’s simply the unconscious part of you wanting to become conscious. Ultimately you, like everybody else, just want to be loved.

There are many expressions of dark feminine energy just as there are many expressions of good and bad. Being a drama queen, not honoring the sacredness of sexual union and faking orgasms are just 3 examples of what is dark feminine energy. What is it for you? Your feminine soul is yearning to grow by bringing more awareness to your dark side.

I’m Anna-Thea, an author, and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. If this article resonated with you and you’d like to learn more about bringing light to your dark feminine check out my online courses.



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  1. Charlotte Lauder

    Great read, it brought me an insight to the dark feminine, I’ve just got an insight into my dark masculine – thank you

  2. Cherine

    Sorry Anna – this is not how I view the Dark Feminine. She is fierce, in control, fully in her Power, unapologetically sexual, will call you out on your bullshit, push back on abuse and disrespect and get justice the old fashioned way. She doesn’t shirk and hide, she is bold and clever. She is the Woman all men want and fear, and Women want her and to their core want to be her. When she walks, the masses part for her.

    You made her the antithesis, weak and petty.

  3. Love this!!! Thank you Cherine for this point of view of the Dark Feminine. I totally agree. You are describing the polar opposite of the dark feminine from my description. We live in a polarized dimension. So i was only describing the dark side of the dark feminine. Your description is the light side of the dark feminine. Thank you for bringing this to light!!!! Super! 🙂

  4. Marloes

    I agree with Cherine, this is not the dark feminine, this is the wounded feminine and masculine energy you are describing.

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