Good Relationship Advice: How to Tell Good from Bad Relationship Advice
What is good relationship advice? It is often not so easy to know. When you are seeking good relationship advice it is when you are in a state of confusion or upset. Or both! You are needing clarity and wanting solutions. Who do you turn to?
Many women turn to their trusted girlfriends for relationship advice. This is both good and bad. Girlfriends have your best interest at heart. At least we would think so, right? But they could also be stuck in the same relationship problems that you are in.
“You can’t solve a problem from the consciousness from which it was created.” -Einstein
The last time I had a “best friend” was in my thirties. It was so wonderful to have that one very special girlfriend in my life. We could meet every Saturday morning for coffee. You know what we would do while we sat in the café and drank coffee? We would complain about our husbands, felt connected in our misery, or focused on our plight and expanded on the unfairness of it all. We definitely weren’t giving each other good relationship advice.
Beware of this happening to you when you are seeking good relationship advice and wanting clarity. Your girlfriends, though well meaning, may not always be the best source for good relationship advice. It is up to you to be discerning.
I have some amazing women as my confidants. They are there for me when I need them however there are things to be aware of if you are going to turn to your girlfriends when seeking good relationship advice.
Four Questions to Ask Yourself
1. Do I feel better but don’t get the clarity or solutions I am searching for?
2. Does my girlfriend have the same or similar relationship challenges as me?
3. Does my girlfriend, in general, have an optimistic, upbeat outlook to life or does she see the glass half empty?
4. Does she hold the idea of relationship as a sacred union; one to be treated with great reverence?
Your girlfriend may not have the exact same problems as you but her relationship solving skills may be at the same level. She may have a hard time seeing your mate objectively, especially if she has experienced your emotional pain during the relationship. And she may not hold the idea of relationship as something that is sacred, instead something that can easily be replaced. I feel that our society has conditioned us to believe that relationships are disposable just like handy wipes or paper towels.
Being in Relationship is Not Easy
I believe being in relationship is the highest form of personal development. When you are in a relationship you are in the fire. Being in relationship is not easy. No matter how compatible you are, you will still have differences. Have we, as a society, learned how to honor other people’s differences? Look at the many social conflicts occurring to answer that question. Honoring others even if you don’t agree with them something most of us didn’t learn.
Let’s face it we did not have the best role models when it comes to showing us how to have conscious equal partnerships in our love relationships. Did your parents have the ultimate love relationship? Probably not. We are all learning how to love and honor each other on this planet. I believe peace on this planet will not magically happen at some global summit, it is a slower process that is being birthed in the hearts and homes of intimate relationships.
Everyone Needs Good Relationship Advice
Because relationships are not always easy and because conflicts often seem insurmountable, I believe everyone needs good relationship advice. Everyone needs a cheerleader. Everyone needs warm fuzzies of encouragement to let them know they are making progress. Otherwise you get discourage and give up.
Most of all what I am seeing is that we all need to learn a new way of living and loving. We need to rewire our belief systems around what it means to be in a relationship. To hold relationship as the highest form of living instead of thinking it is disposable. We need to develop a sense of reverence and honor for all of our relationships and treat them like the precious gems that they are. Not to forget, this includes the relationship you have with you.
I’m Anna-Thea, an intimacy coach. I help to empower in the area of intimacy and love. If you would like to find out more about how to create more fulfilling relationships, contact me at 702-306-3084 or visit www.LeaderOfLove.com