picture of a woman experiencing sensual pleasure

Sexual Pleasure For Women – Find Out What’s Getting In The Way!

Sexual pleasure for women doesn’t always come that easily. In order to experience sexual pleasure, you need to learn more about sensual pleasure. How to increase sexual pleasure for women involves BEING in your body and calming the chatter that’s happening in your mind. The more you can do that… the more sensual and sexual pleasure you’ll experience in the bedroom.

Women and pleasure is a subject that needs more attention. In this article I will share with you how your mind is getting in the way of you experiencing pleasure. I will also share with you the idea of “dropping down into your pelvic bowl” and the importance of it in order to create more pleasure in your life.

You see, pleasure is found in the body… not in the mind. So women and pleasure involves being in your body. And there are tools and practices to help you calm your mind and enjoying “being” in your body.

Recently I was asked by a student at a workshop of mine…

What do you mean by “in your body?”

It was really great for me to have my student ask that. I realized how many people have probably never even experienced being in their bodies. As a culture we live so much up in our heads, analyzing and perceiving life through our minds.

I’ve spent most of my life doing anything that I can to “get out of my head” and “be in my body” because that’s where I always find peace. And a peaceful mind is what leads to pleasure for women. But it takes time energy and effort to create a peaceful mind.

Yoga, deep breathing, my yoni egg practice, “dropping down into your pelvic bowl”, and sacred dance have been my great tools to get me there. Otherwise, I find myself worrying, obsessing, and overthinking about things and it causes unnecessary stress, especially in my intimate relationship.

You literally need to learn how to “get down” into your body more than you have to focus on “getting off” – if you want to experience more pleasure.

Sexual Pleasure For Women and Your Mind

Not clearing your mind regularly is a recipe for disaster in the bedroom. My mind is like a race track and just doesn’t quit. What about yours? And how has it dampened your sex life?

I’ve been told by past lovers…

  • “You have a bee in your bonnet.”
  • “You can’t do enough exercise to get out of your head.”
  • “Boy, are you emotional.”

I don’t know if women realize how much they are spending and living their lives up in their heads… intellectualizing, pondering, fearing, worrying, creating intense emotions etc. The result…. challenges in experiencing sexual pleasure in bed!

How to Increase Sexual Pleasure for Women

From a woman’s point of view… I believe many of us have thought men are selfish lovers. Yes, that’s generalizing but this is what many women are up against. And I can see why. A man’s sexuality is so different from ours. But the truth is, there’s nothing more joyous for a man than to experience a sexually responsive woman.

Unfortunately, how to increase sexual pleasure for women seems to be a total mystery to many men. And women are suffering because of it.

A message to men and partners:

All you have to do is help her calm her mind down. Get her to breathe down into her belly. Just be with her there with your hand on her belly. Let her talk and let her know you care.

I’ve heard it said that it takes 72 hours to prepare a woman for sex. You can’t just “jump right in.” Help her to feel safe, loved and cared for. Show her some attention. Give her words of affirmation and how important she is to you in her life. These things will help to calm her busy mind.

A Woman’s Mind is FAST, FURIOUS and FILLED with Activity

Generally speaking, a female mind is busier than a male’s mind. I believe it goes back to the masculinizing hormone wash that an embryo is exposed to about six weeks after fertilization. This hormone wash is what determines your gonads. I am not sure how this affects a person who is intersex. And there hasn’t been enough respect and honoring in the medical community of those that are intersex to really know.

But ultimately, if you, as a woman want to experience intimate sexual pleasure with your partner it’s import to know the difference between being in your head versus your body. That’s a good start.

Answering the Question – What it Means to Be in Your Body

  • If you’re intimate with your partner and you’re worried about the kids coming in, laundry, a deadline at work, etc., then you’re in your head and not in your body. And you’re missing out on pleasure.
  • Or, if you’re intimate with your partner and you’re worried about how your body looks instead of how your body feels, then you’re in your head and not in your body. And again… you’re missing out on pleasure.

As a woman you really need to find ways, much more so than men, to SLOW DOWN and get your mind to rest. The idea of sexual pleasure for women doesn’t just happen. It’s not a switch you can just turn on. Women need to create the proper environment to experience true pleasure.

Believe it or not… yoga is a great way to improve your sex life. It’s because yoga is a great tool to calm your mind. If you’re not into yoga here are some other things you can do to get “out of your mind” and BE in your body.

9 Effective Ways to Slow Down Your Mind and Feel More Pleasure

  1. Put your hands on your belly and belly breathe
  2. Take a bath as you listen to calming music
  3. Learn and Do the Yoni Egg Practice
  4. Pay attention to your breath
  5. Process your emotions
  6. Do a guided meditation
  7. Take a Yoga class
  8. Walk in nature
  9. Journal

See which of the above practices work for you. Make them part of your daily lifestyle.

And #10 – Drop Down Into Your Pelvic Bowl

So we’ve talked about sexual pleasure for women and how that’s directly related to you being able to calm your mind. If you are ready to go to the next step then it’s about “dropping down into your pelvic bowl.”

What does that mean? There’s more to it than I can really explain here. I teach more about it in my Manifesting More Pleasure course but I’ll give you a general idea as best as I can.

You see, sexual pleasure for women is not a one size fits all. And its not a simple process. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s not a switch that you just turn on.

With all of that said, let me ask you… how connected to the bottom of your body are you? I mean really connected. Do you have sexual shame? Do you not like the way your genitalia looks or smells? These are big factors that will hinder sexual pleasure for any woman.

Sexual Pleasure for Women – Stop Over Sexualizing Your Female Parts

The bottom of your body is over sexualized. It’s really just another part of the body but we treat it differently than any other part. It’s taboo, it’s hidden, it’s not talked about.

Sexual pleasure for women begins with creating a deeper relationship with your pelvic bowl. That whole area down there at the bottom of your body. Just like you take care of your face or your hair – do you take care of your female parts?

You may have explored every pore and pimple on your face but have you sat down with a mirror, spread your legs, and taken a really good look at your female parts? Have you given them the attention and care they deserve? True sexual pleasure for women only happens when you have a deeper more loving relationship with “down there.”

So how do you do that? There are many ways and much of my education helps you to learn the practices to do so. It’s first about shifting your attitude about “down there” and also than learning how to take care of “her” in a way that you’ve probably never learned before. This is truly sex education you didn’t learn from your mother or the educational system.

Ways to Drop Down Into Your Pelvic Bowl:

  • Listening to Your Yoni
  • Pelvic Floor Care
  • Self Pleasuring Session
  • Understanding Relaxed Arousal
  • Knowing your Female Sexual Anatomy
  • Expressing YOUR Sexual Needs

That’s just a start. There’s more to sexual pleasure for women than I can address here in one article. But learning how to drop down into your pelvic bowl and access this “feminine medicine” will bring not only more pleasure but peace of mind into your life.

A super powerful Divine Feminine tool is the wand. It’s very helpful not only for pleasure but for pelvic floor health as well.

The Crystal Wand Honey Dipper
Vibrators De-sensitize – Wands Re-sensitize Sexual Pleasure for Women

What resonated most with you in this article and why? What can you apply in your life right now?

Leave a comment below and let me know what you think when it comes to women and pleasure. Thousands of other women come here each week for inspiration, information and wisdom. Your comment may provide support to someone else and be exactly what they needed to hear.

Thanks for being here and for adding your perspective. Please share this post with other women you love.

I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Certified Divine Feminine Educator.

If you made it this far you’re probably ready to create more pleasure in your life.

I can show you how! Check out my Manifesting More Pleasure course now and start prioritizing pleasure! 

Love Quiz


  1. Melanie Wenzoski

    Thank you for bringing light and love to this area of our being that is all to covered and closed from life. Being raised in a Catholic home, there was lots of shame with my female parts, that time of the month, being able to get pregnant. Like you said, it is a part of our bodies that needs to have some light shined on it.

    Let’s create a Yoni movement and shine the light of love on our yoni’s and teach the women and men of the world how to truly appreciate the whole of us.

    Your class Sex Ed You Never Learned From Your Mother, helped me deal with childhood sexual abuse in a way that years of counselling and self help work has not done. No class in the past has actually suggested touching let alone looking at my yoni. No class has normalized that part of my body. Maybe it was the ladies that were in the class that moved the learning curve this way, but this was a very powerful class and has led to much healing.

    Thank you for talking about our yoni’s and creating a safe place for us to explore ourselves!

  2. Thank you Melanie for your awesome comment and everything that you have shared. Very powerful. I am touched that my Sex Ed class has been so transformative for you. It means a lot to me! 🙂

Comments are closed.