sexual intimacy and rejection

What Women Wish Men Knew [About WHY They Reject Them Sexually]

Sexual intimacy and rejection can go hand in hand, unfortunately, more often than most would like. Sometimes, I think the big cosmic joke of humanity is how men and women, in the sexual intimacy department, are designed. I imagine “those in charge” saying, “Let’s put these two (man and woman) together on planet earth and let them figure it out. Ha! Ha!”

Sexual intimacy and rejection is something no one likes to experience.

Men’s sexuality is completely different from women’s. No wonder sexual intimacy and rejection can happen. Women’s sexuality has been underrepresented. Even the anatomy of a woman’s clitoris is still unknown to many.

None the less, I like to think we are magically complimentary. However, this is only when I am optimistic about the challenges that exist between the sexes. When it comes to sexual intimacy and rejection, we are dealing with a complex situation.

When discouraged about these differences I want to use the word opposite instead of complimentary. Yet, there is something magical happening regarding sexuality and our evolution. I don’t think anyone person has all the answers either. These are the mysteries of life and what we are here to learn. With that said, sexual authenticity is important.

Sexual Intimacy and Rejection - A woman in bed with her man looking frustrated.

Sexual intimacy and especially sexual pleasure for women is often a tricky thing. What women wish men knew about why they reject them sexuality is a complex exploration. However, I’d like to discuss three things regarding sexual intimacy and rejection, that I believe are common themes women wish men knew about.

3 Valid Reasons Why Women Reject Men Sexually

1. Slow Down 

Women’s sexual response system responds to slower touch. A woman doesn’t want to be grabbed or groped at. Men, if you think you’re touching her in a soft way, chances are you could probably touch even softer and even slower.

The main thing about slowing down is not having an agenda. Having sex with a woman is not like going for the goal post. This is not a sports event. This is another human being with a complex nervous system and sexual response system. Awakening a woman’s sexual desire is a process, not a race.

When a woman feels she has to respond in a certain way (and fast) during sexual intimacy it will shut her sexual response system down.

When you’re able to SLOW DOWN and I mean REALLY SLOW DOWN, you are giving her the impression that you’re not in a hurry. If she is attracted to you, she wants all the time in the world with you. She wants it to last. Slowing down will decrease your odds of being rejected.

2. It Takes 72 Hours To Prepare a Woman For Sex

A common thing I hear from women is when going to bed or waking up, her man is wanting sex. He seems to have forgotten about the unresolved argument the day before. Sexual intimacy with a woman doesn’t work that way.

If you want to increase your chances, take 3 days to prepare her. Treat her like a queen. Say nice words to her. Tell her how much you appreciate and admire her. Our sex organs aren’t just between our legs. You’ll go a lot further in getting her to say yes if you give her warm fuzzies as opposed to cold or room temperature prickleys. In other words, don’t take her for granted. Don’t assume your sexual satisfaction is her “duty.” That isn’t fun for you either.

Sincere words of affirmation and appreciation go a long way in getting a woman ready to receive you. Make sure you do that 72 hours before wanting sex with her. If you want sex every day then appreciate her every day.

3. It’s Not All About Your Penis

When I teach women about sexuality and sexual intimacy I talk about masculine forms of sexuality and feminine forms of sexuality.

Masculine forms are focused and goal-oriented. Feminine forms are fluid and, well, slower, as mentioned earlier. Masculine forms are physical whereas feminine forms are subtle.

Both men and women can enjoy masculine and feminine forms of sexual expression. And some women have a very masculine orientation with their sexuality. However, when it comes to pleasing a woman, don’t make it all about your penis. If your focus is mainly getting it up, getting it in and getting it off, she will sense that. And often, it simply turns her off.

You’ll increase your chance of acceptance if you make other things your focus. Such things as gazing into her eyes, making sure she feels comfortable, tuning into her and finding out what pleases her.

Penises are a wonderful part of male anatomy. They are to be celebrated. However, it’s important during the sex act to put your penis in perspective. Equal mattering is a good rule to apply.

The female counterpart, a woman’s Yoni, is to be celebrated too.

Make sure that when you’re approaching a woman sexually that you don’t make it all about your penis. You’ll definitely increase your chances drastically of her not rejecting you.

Men, we want to celebrate, accept, and never reject you. Please just slow down, prepare us 72 hours in advance and don’t make it all about your penis. You’ll find lots of juicier sexual intimacy in your future.

What resonated most with you in this article and why? What can you apply in your life right now?

Leave a comment below and let me know. Thousands of other women come here each week for inspiration, information and wisdom. Your comment may provide support to someone else and be exactly what they needed to hear.

Thanks for being here and for adding your perspective. Please share this post with other women you love.

I’m Anna-Thea, an author, and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. I love teaching women more about their bodies and how to reclaim it as sacred. If this article resonated with you and you’d like to learn more check out my online courses.

Love Quiz


  1. Chris

    I’m getting very hurt lately. Both my fiance and I are just in our low 30s. We have sex maybe 1 time a week. Sometimes its goes 2 weeks or more. I really love her, however I feel like she isn’t attracted to me sexually. She tells me she doesnt like sex and has a low sex drive. Any thoughts

  2. Thanks for your comment. Do you know WHY she doesn’t like sex? Sounds like there needs to be a deeper conversation. Ask her what her sexually needs are. And really look at why you are feeling hurt. What is underneath that? What is having sex with her giving you? Is it something you should be giving yourself? And what does “having sex” mean for you? Better communication leads to better sex. Discover what you also really need and give that to yourself. The deeper need. I would suggest checking out my communication course at I hope this is helpful for you. Warmly, Anna-Thea

  3. Jim

    I have ALWAYS tried to make sure any woman I am with is satisfied first. For us guys, satisfaction can come very quickly. I always put a womans satisfaction before mine. ?

  4. Hi Jim, Thank you for your comment. I love what you shared. I believe men in their heart want to make sure they are pleasuring the woman they are with. And you are right, for guys, satisfaction can come very quickly. I believe it’s almost a cosmic joke or rather riddle to solve… the differences between male and female sexuality. As women start speaking their truth, asking for what they need, and getting more connected to their bodies there will be less women sexually unsatisfied. Right now there are way too many. This is a deep subject far beyond a simple comment however I appreciate you voices that you try to make your woman’s satisfaction a priority.

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