Saying Sorry Too Much is Disempowering: Learn 3 Steps to Stop
Years ago I was in a grocery store and a man NON-maliciously bumped into me. Guess what my first reaction was? I said…”I’m sorry.” Are you saying sorry too much?
I realized, that when he bumped into me, he wasn’t compelled from within to say HE was sorry. Why was I? He was the one who bumped into me. Of course he wasn’t doing it maliciously. It was a complete accident with no harm intended, none the less why on earth was I compelled to say I was sorry?
In this article, I want to make you more aware of this phrase, how disempowering it is and what you can do to stop saying it so much!
Are You Saying Sorry Too Much?
How often are you saying you are sorry when it is completely unnecessary? What are you sorry for? You don’t have to be sorry for being here. You’re not in the way. And you are not a bother.
It’s important for us as women to claim our space in the world… unapologetically. We belong here! Unfortunately, our cultured as programmed us to think we are less than. Don’t buy into it anymore.
Anne Wilson Schaef in her book “Female Realities” talks about the original sin of being born female. Though there are parents who want to birth a little girl, how many little girls have been born on this planet where one or both of the parents were disappointed that the child was a girl instead of a boy?
Being Born Female
What impact did being born female have on you? I’m one of five siblings. We have one brother (the oldest) and four girls. I can always remember my mother telling us she wanted to have five boys. My older sister’s name was supposed to be Mathew. Then I was supposed to be Mathew and then my younger sister was supposed to be Mathew.
Mathew never arrived. Seven years later my mother gave birth to our youngest sister. I guess my mother had at that point given up on the name Mathew and decided the baby would be named Steven. Steven didn’t arrive. Instead, my sister Joanne was born though she was brought home from the hospital without a name. I guess my parents were sure she was going to be a boy.
How common was or is this phenomenon? Were you fully accepted as a little girl when you were birthed into this world? Maybe that’s where saying I’m sorry too much comes from.
Watch this video illustrating how women are saying sorry too much. And how unnecessary it is. Make a choice not to be sorry in your life and you’ll feel so much more empowered!
Here’s a 5-minute video about women and this bad habit – Very eye-opening!
3 Steps to Stop
Saying Sorry Too Much
- Practice awareness of how much you say “I’m sorry” throughout the day. And what types of things are you saying I’m sorry for?
- After starting to notice how much you say I’m sorry, and how it is almost an automatic reflex, create a pause in your speech before saying the words. See if in that situation you can either say nothing and just be present, or say something different.
- The idea of saying I’m sorry too much often comes from a place of empathy and compassion. Which is a good thing. Don’t get rid of your compassion. Instead when you feel like saying I’m sorry express what you are noticing instead. For example, you can say something like, “that must not feel very good”, “I’m noticing myself _____.” Fill in the blank with – feeling obligated; feeling guilty; thinking I’m responsible for what just happened. These are just examples. Create your own.
Getting rid of that nasty habit of saying sorry too much isn’t easy. Because it’s almost as if though it’s been carved into our consciousness at a very young age. Nonetheless, it’s well worth taking the time to learn a new way.
If you like this post please share it with other women… we don’t have to be sorry any more! 🙂
I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Divine Feminine Educator. I have online educational courses to empower women by giving them the skills they need to make them just as important as others in their relationships.
About the author: Anna-Thea