relationship advice

Why Relationship Advice For Women Is Different From Men’s

Having an intimate relationship with the opposite sex is often mystifying, to say the least. Relationship advice for women and men can often be different. Paradoxically, it can also be the same.

Bottom line, regarding relationship advice, we all want to be loved and accepted. How you go about getting that need satisfied is unique for you. We are all learning how to open our hearts to each other. We get opportunities daily. This plays out in complex and fascinating ways within relationships. Especially between the opposite sexes.

Men and women ARE different. Relationship advice for women IS going to be flavored differently than relationship advice for men. My teacher once told me, the relationship road bump for men is their ego and for women, it is their emotions.

Men and Their Ego

A man’s ego will get in the way of his ability to connect and to tune into another. We all have an ego. Our egos gets in the way of intimacy. Though all of us need to keep our egos in check, men seem to hit a bigger roadblock with intimacy.

The first definition of ego is The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.

From this definition, we can see that someone who is ego-centered won’t have a problem losing themselves in a relationship. Quite the contrary. They may have more of a problem tuning into their partner and taking them into consideration.

The third definition of ego, from the same resource, is:

Egotism, conceit, self-importance

Again, these personality traits make it hard to create intimacy. When you have a high opinion of yourself, as in conceited, you aren’t perceiving others to be at the same level as you. This creates a disconnect.

Self-Importance is Not a Bad Thing

Self-importance is a good thing. However, when it excludes other’s importance, it gets in the way of connection, closeness, and intimacy. This is good relationship advice for women to know.

Examples of someone with a “big ego” could be:

  • Talking about oneself with little interest in the other.
  • Getting defensive.
  • Not open to new things.
  • Inability to admit wrongdoing or apologize.

These behaviors can easily be displayed by both men and women. Though in general, women’s challenge in a relationship is more often about their emotions than their ego.

Women and Their Emotions

We all are emotional. Humans are emotional creatures. And some men are more emotional than some women, however, GENERALLY speaking, women’s emotions get in the way of intimacy in a relationship more than it does for men.

Women have been accused of being crazy because of our emotions. Your emotions are a very important part of your guidance system. Understanding them on a deeper level is crucial. This is extremely important relationship advice for women to understand. Your emotions aren’t the problem. How you handle them is.

Drama Queens, Nagging Housewives and over controlling mothers get a bad rap. These examples show how our emotions drive us in the wrong direction. The result is unnecessary misunderstandings, isolation, and loneliness.

Letting your emotions get “out of control” throws you into victim behavior. This doesn’t support healthy relating with another. It doesn’t support intimacy. Learning how to deal with your emotions in a productive way does.

Sound Relationship Advice For Women

Learn to speak from your heart. Learn to give your, sometimes overwhelming emotions, a centered, clear and grounded voice.

The Best Relationship Advice for Women is…
Your emotions are an important part of being a woman, honor them.

Navigating your emotions in a productive way is essential for personal empowerment. Your emotions are your feminine wisdom and your power. They present themselves for a reason. They want you to know something is out of balance in your life that needs to be tended to. That is a good thing.

Do not repress your emotions, they will simply come out sideways in what I call the 3D’s, Disease, Drama, and Depression.

Mastering Your Emotions as a woman is a must. It is also a lifelong process and doesn’t happen overnight. Getting the skills, tools and know how to navigate your emotions in a productive way is the most important thing you can do as a woman.

Sound Relationship Advice For Men

Learn to tune into your partner. Because women are the ones who birth, they are naturally wired to have a keen awareness of “the other.”  If they didn’t their babies would not survive.

Good relationship advice for men would be to make a practice of asking their partner questions. Become curious about what is going on in your partner’s life. Take time to listen in a way that is not problem-solving but rather simply offering your presence, support, and sincere concern. These qualities soothe a woman’s emotions.

Notice When You Get Defensive

Defensiveness is a huge block to intimacy. It is like an impenetrable wall. When you get defensive ask yourself, “what part of this situation am I not seeing as yet.”  Upsets in a relationship are often because we don’t have the whole picture.

Women are better at seeing the whole picture. It is the way our brains are wired. Men’s brains are wired to be more focused on one aspect of a whole picture. If you find yourself getting defensive, remind yourself that you are missing information. Be patient with yourself. Get curious and stay open. Find out more about what is going on instead of walling off to it.

Why relationship advice for women is different from men is because we ARE different in many ways.

In general, it is good relationship advice to say, “men pay attention to your ego and women pay attention to your emotions if you want to have healthy relationships.”

With all that said, there is one area where we are the same, we all want to be loved and accepted for who we are. Honoring and understanding differences will help to create more connection in a relationship.

I’m Anna-Thea, an intimacy educator, and coach. If you want more relationship advice for improved communication, to get a better handle on your emotions or to experience more pleasure and intimacy in your sex life, give me call at 702-306-3084 for a consultation. Or, visit my courses page for more relationship advice for women!

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