Intimacy Issues - A man an woman connecting

7 Common Intimacy Issues and What You Need to Know

Sex, love and intimacy issues… what a sensitive subject. Both men and women long for connection. Intimacy, sex, and relationships are complex and therefore have great potential for deep, profound experiences and transformation.

One of the biggest challenges regarding intimacy issues is that women’s sexuality is quite different from men’s sexuality. And we have lived in a culture where men’s sexuality has been catered to. And women have obliged them.

But no matter what sex you are or sexual orientation. We all have intimacy issues. It’s part of our learning process and evolution of our consciousness. As you face your intimacy issues instead of avoiding them or pretending like they don’t exist, you’ll experience more overall happiness and joy.

Relationships are where you’ll feel the most pain or the most pleasure. There are valid reasons why women reject men sexually. It’s up to you to be authentic about it. The following list is not exhaustive but are common issues women are faced with.

Common intimacy Issues Many Women Deal With

  1. Not getting your needs met in the bedroom, therefore avoiding sex.
  2. Yearning for and struggling with how to create a deeper more authentic and heart-centered connection in your relationship?
  3. Wishing that you felt more confident about speaking to your partner about sex?
  4. Wondering if this is as good as it gets.
  5. Thinking there is something wrong with you sexually.
  6. Faking Orgasms
  7. Feeling obligated or pressured to have sex for the other person’s satisfaction – sexual duty.

These are all common intimacy issues and questions many women ask themselves.

If this is you, don’t let it get you down. You’re not the only woman who has these feelings. Sadly… you’re not alone. There is much that can and needs to change regarding what goes on behind closed doors in the bedrooms across the nation and on the planet. So many couples want to know how to enjoy sexual intimacy with their partner again, especially after the honeymoon phase is gone.

Faking an Orgasm

May I get personal? Have you ever faked an orgasm to make a partner feel like they’re doing a good job pleasing you? If you have, what was your reason? Why is talking about female sexuality and your pleasure so taboo? It isn’t just you. It’s common for many couples to feel challenged to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t for them.

Why do we endure things we don’t enjoy during “lovemaking”? Lovemaking is supposed to be pleasurable. But do you find yourself having a hard time expressing what would really please you. Some people, especially women, often don’t even know what would please them.

Do You Orgasm During Intercourse?

A common intimacy issue is thinking that you need to orgasm during intercourse. As Many as 75% of all women never reach climax through intercourse alone.

I feel like it’s a parlor trick women must learn. And if you don’t know how to do it there’s something wrong with you. Perhaps the greatest reason for this is because men and women are not taught about their bodies in such a way that awakens their full sexual potential. Believe it or not, adults need sex education too!

The good news is that there is a better way. The bad news is that it doesn’t happen overnight. These common issues need your compassion.

Getting Outercourse on the Map

We need to be educated on the idea of Outercourse and balancing Intercourse with Outercourse. The definition of Outercourse can have many different ways of expression. What I teach is a healing modality where you hold space for someone’s sexual energy.

Intercourse is a masculine expression of sex while Outercourse is a feminine expression of sex. We need both. Learn how to do a sexual healing on your man and let’s get Outercourse on the map.

With that said, there isn’t one simple solution. Sexual issues that often exist in relationship is a multi-faceted dynamic that is unique to each person and each relationship. It can be a blessing if you’re willing to educate yourself and get the support you need to look at the patterns that are causing the issues. But again it’s complex therefore it’s important to have compassion.

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The Big Secret to Intimacy

This is what you really need to know. Solve your intimacy issues by deepening your relationship with you. The first step is to deepen your relationship with you and your body.

If you want more intimacy in your life you won’t find it outside yourself. You may think that in order to have intimacy, you need to create it with your partner. Well yes, however, you can’t have B before A so to speak.

You first need to create intimacy with yourself. Intimacy is an inside job. You cannot share with another that which you don’t have within yourself. Intimacy is In-to-me-I- see.

Do you really know how to love yourself? If you’re not experiencing the depth of connection you’d like in your life, ask yourself, “Where in my life can I deepen my connection with myself?” When you feel a lack of passion, ask yourself, “How can I create more passion and zest for life in my daily living?”

Start Speaking Up for Yourself

Another common intimacy issue is getting your needs met. Do you feel you have a hard time expressing yourself and especially asking for your needs to be met? And I am talking about both inside and outside of the bedroom. Where in your life could you start asking for them to be met?

Ask yourself, “What would it take for me to be able to voice my needs?” Maybe you need to experiment with awakening your voice in smaller ways such as asking for help with a project or taking a risk and speaking your truth when normally you wouldn’t.

See how it feels when you do take the risk. There is more to this subject than can be addressed in one blog. What I want to leave you with is… if you want deeper intimacy in your life, it begins within you. When you change your inner world your outer world will change accordingly and respond differently. And you’ll experience more sensual and sexual pleasure in your relationship. And authentic sexual intimacy too!

If you’re ready for some positive change and want to free yourself from intimacy issues start first my creating more intimacy with yourself.

What resonated most with you in this article and why? What can you apply in your life right now?

Leave a comment below and let me know. Thousands of other women come here each week for inspiration, information and wisdom. Your comment may provide support to someone else and be exactly what they needed to hear.

Thanks for being here and for adding your perspective. Please share this post with other women you love.

I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. If you’d like to overcome intimacy issues and learn more about YOUR sexuality make sure you check out my course
Sex Ed You Didn’t Learn From Your Mother.

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