How to Manage Emotions: What You Need to Know
How to manage emotions is not always an easy thing to do. Repressing, denying, ignoring them seems to be the more common way that most people handle their emotions.
In this article, I want to cover 3 keys ideas about how to manage emotions that’ll give you new insights and perspective on this powerful force inside your body.
Emotions are energy in motions. When you’re upset you can feel it in your body. The last thing you should do is ignore these powerful signals your body is giving you.
But in our society “inappropriate” emotions such as anger, sadness or fear are not readily accepted. Because at a core level, we all want to be loved and accepted, not showing unacceptable feelings becomes a way of life. When you live like this, disconnected from your feelings, you disconnect from your most powerful guidance system. You are unable to establish healthy boundaries for yourself, and you live life with less vitality.
When you ignore or deny your emotions you:
- Don’t have access to your inner guidance system
- Are unable to set healthy boundaries
- Block energy flow creating body armor
- Are unable to communicate effectively
- Set yourself up for ill health
Emotions are a Feminine Energy
Emotions are part of life. And emotions are the feminine energy expressing itself inside you.
Masculine energy is logical
Feminine energy is emotional
Since we live in a more masculine-oriented world, there is no time to process your emotions. You need to “get over it.” You need to be out in the world making something happen. That’s the kind of life most of us live. Being part of the rat race of paying the bills and climbing the latter of success.
But managing emotions requires time. It requires you to slow down and be present with your body. To become aware of what’s happening inside you. Something most of us don’t do. And our lifestyles don’t lend to cultivating more body awareness.
3 Key Concepts for How to Manage Emotions
1. Your Emotions are Valid
How often have you told yourself or another person, “It doesn’t matter.”, “I shouldn’t feel that way.”, “No worries… it’s ok.”
Do you judge yourself when you’re having uncomfortable feelings? Possibly saying something like, “I shouldn’t feel that way,” or “I need to get over this.”
Maybe you spend a lot of energy trying to convince yourself that a certain upsetting situation doesn’t matter. Telling yourself, “it shouldn’t bother me.” But the fact remains that it does.
Let me say, there are some things, even many things you can and should change your beliefs and perceptions about. Things that are happening in your life and your relationships that you can take a more mature approach to. But nonetheless, I want you to know your feelings are valid.
What you are feeling is important. Don’t deny your feelings. This doesn’t mean you need to show your feelings to everyone without any regard. Or to act like a child throwing a temper tantrum when you don’t get your way. But what it does mean is that creating an actual connection and relationship with your uncomfortable feelings is the most valuable and empowering thing you can do.
Your emotions are a source of divine feminine energy. This feminine energy is a healing force in your body. And that is both for men and women alike. But that’s only when you know how to process them productively. Managing emotions, meaning validating them and acknowledging is where the transformation begins. A whole new world will open up to you. It’s truly a way of accessing the wisdom of your divine feminine essence.
So don’t ever deny your emotions. They want your validation. They are a positive feminine force when handled correctly. Take time to be with them. They hold a tremendous amount of wisdom for you to discover.
2. There are Different Types of Emotions
Ok, now that you know your emotions are valid and that managing emotions properly means to first and foremost validate them, let’s look at the different types of feelings.
Your emotions are complex. Your psychological imprint, perceptions and what motivates you in life is very different from anyone else. You are unique. Your emotions are unique. What triggers you is also unique to you. A barking dark in the neighborhood may drive you crazy while your partner may hardly even hear it.
And since your emotions are unique to you it’s important to understand them. The best way to understand this almost undefinable feminine force inside your body is to categorize them. This is a way of using masculine energy to quantify and define an often undefinable and mysterious feminine force.
When I teach about how to manage emotions it’s important for you to understand the different types of feelings. This will help you to become familiar with them. You’ll be able to better recognize them. Each type of feeling has it’s own qualities and characteristics. Fear, for example, is a cool and prickly kind of energy whereas anger is a hot and forceful energy. That’s a big part of learning how to manage emotions is the recognition of what type of feeling is flowing through your body.
There are many different ways to categorize emotions. For simplicity, I have categorized them into 6 different types. Your feelings and emotions are complex and multi-faceted. That’s why this simple categorization is very helpful when you first start to learn about your feelings. Under each category are many variations of each emotion.
Numb is actually a lack of feelings. Being walled off and disconnected. But I include it in the category because when my students first start feeling their feelings often the first feeling they feel is numb. I know for myself when I began feeling my feelings it was hard and very foreign.
Exercise for managing your emotions
This was the first exercise I was given by my therapist years ago when I began the journey of learning how to process my emotions. She told me after a counseling session to start asking myself multiple times during the day, “What am I feeling right now.” It was a wild experience. The answer was shame. I had suppressed awareness of the shame I was holding in my body because well who wants to feel uncomfortable feelings.. right? But once I had the courage to feel that’s when the transformation began.
So try this exercise. For the next few days ask yourself, “what am I feeling right now.” See what comes up. And don’t be afraid to feel your feelings.
3. Emotions are in Your Body
The other important part of managing emotions is to understand where they are. Most of us spend most of our waking state in our heads. Thinking about the past or focused on the future. Most of us rarely spend time in the present moment. In the here and now. But guess what… that’s where your emotions are. Because they reside NOT in your head. They are in your body.
I remember the day one of my students really got that she had spent most of her life up in her head. She was beginning to understand the difference between being in the insanity of her head versus dropping down into the wisdom of her body.
I see how hard it is for most, even me, to get out of our heads and be in our bodies. You have a busy mind and it is constantly chattering at you. It will even tell you outright lies. But most of us think that we are our minds. And you aren’t. There is so much more to you.
Your emotions are a powerful source of greater self-awareness. But they, your emotions, are NOT in your mind. They are in your body. So a big key to managing emotions is learning how to be in your body. And learning how to release stuck emotions in your body by taking care of yourself emotionally. Especially in your most intimate love relationships. Those are often the ones that leave the deepest emotional wounds.
When you do the above exercise and ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now.” learn to notice not only what type of feeling it is but where it is in the body. Since the body and your emotions are energy, your emotions can get stuck in the energy centers of the body, your chakras. Common areas or energy centers where your emotions get stuck are the throat, heart, and belly. Have you ever had a lump in your throat, a heavy heart or heartache, or that yucky pit in your stomach? Those are your emotions trying to get your attention.
Exercise for Managing Emotions
Here is a great exercise to help you further begin to learn how to manage your emotions. Fill in the blanks.
I feel _____ (sad, mad, glad, fear, numb,shame)
And I feel it _______ (where in your body)
Make this exercise a regular part of our life, especially when you upset. Take time to feel. Learn how to take care of yourself emotionally by understanding energy and how it affects your emotional wellbeing.
So in conclusion, emotions are really to be managed, they are to be processed by honoring them, acknowledging them and feeling them inside your body.
What did you get most from this article? What can you immediately apply?
Leave a comment below and let me know. Thousands of others come here each week to learn about the power of their feminine side. Your comment may provide support to someone else and be exactly what they needed to hear.
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I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Divine Feminine educator. I want to support you in reclaiming the wisdom of your emotions. If this article resonated with you make sure you check out my online course 4 Steps to Process Your Powerful Emotions. Remember your emotions are valid. And when you learn how to manage emotions your life will transform.