How to Improve Communication Skills with Feminine Energy
Are you looking to improve your communication skills in your relationships? Feminine energy makes communicating easier because it cultivates a more sacred way of relating.
When was the last time you really felt nurtured, listened to, and considered?
- Do you feel heard and understood by your partner?
- Do you feel you are treated with great kindness and consideration?
- Or do you more often feel either left out or misunderstood by your partner?
Maybe he or she didn’t call. Maybe he or she didn’t think of something that was totally obvious to you and it ended up hurting you deeply.
These are the things that happen in relationships. The other person isn’t in tune with what’s going on with their partner.
It’s painful when someone you love “doesn’t notice.”
They don’t notice your …
- Needs and desires.
- Hopes and dreams
- Wins and accomplishments
- Challenges and frustrations
This is happening more often than not in intimate relationships. And it causes a great deal of emotional pain and feeling of isolation.
What would it take for us to be able to tune into each other? What would it take to be able to communicate it a way that allows for a sacred union between two people? I believe it requires more Divine Feminine communication. In other words communicating from your heart, not your head.
What this means is A LOT more feminine energy and feminine communication than exists inside today’s typical intimate relationships. We all have both masculine and feminine energy no matter what sex we are.
But if you listen to the way we commonly speak – most of us communicate in masculine, directive, controlling ways. And without even realizing it. it’s built into our colloquial language.
A super simple example of this:
- “Have a nice day!”
2. “I wish for you a wonderful day!”
The first one is how we commonly talk. It’s a nice gesture but really what you are doing is telling another person what to do. You are giving them a directive.
With the second one, you are coming from within yourself and letting the person know the goodwill you have for them. This is a small example of the big way our language is riddled with masculine energy.
And if you use the second one – at first it may sound weird.
That’s what will happen. When you pay attention to your choice of words and choose less commanding and more feminine ones – it will sound odd. But the more you start shifting your choice of words in this way the easier it will become.
If you want to be heard and understood, you need to develop more feminine communication styles. They are softer, gentler, kinder, and consciously or unconsciously create an opening for the receiver.
Feminine Communication Styles include:
- Tuning into yourself and others equally.
- Being Receptive instead of defensive.
- Communicating from your heart instead of your head.
- Feeling into the situation instead of analyzing it.
- Using fewer words and more presence.
- Slowing down, talking less, listening and feeling more.
- Coming from your inner strength and confidence instead of outer force, ie yelling or nagging for example.
If you want more consideration, kindness, and care you need to slow down in the communication department.
Slowing down means tapping into
your feminine energy.
Notice your aggressive behavior.
You may be aggressive and not even know it.
Or passive aggressive!
Are you aggressive and don’t even know it?
Here’s how to improve your communication skills with feminin energy…
I recently heard a couple arguing and the woman bitingly said: “I hate you.” Minutes later the couple was fine as if nothing had happened. “I hate you” is aggressive, attacking language.
That type of languaging seeds resentment in an intimate relationship. The receiver of that type of communication can’t help but feel knocked down in their heart.
This type of cold, biting, language is more common than most of us realize. It’s not loving. On many levels, we have numbed out. We’ve disconnected from our vulnerable side and abrasive, aggressive action has become the norm.
Furthermore, a person speaking this way often doesn’t even realize it’s aggressive, oppressive, abrasive, and even hurtful nature.
In my communication course, I teach what I call Heart Talk, a more feminine and softer way of communicating. But believe me, it’s not for the weak and frail.
In order to speak from your heart, which is what Heart Talk, requires, you have to be able to feel. You can’t fake Heart Talk. And Heart talk is extremely empowering.
For the woman in the above example who said to her man, “I hate you”, the Heart Talk version would go like this…
She would have tuned in and noticed her frustration. She would have known how to be there for herself emotionally, and said, for example, “I need more patience right now.” Or “I need your acceptance in this moment.” These are just two examples she could have responded using Heart Talk. In this way she would shift the old pattern. She would stop putting another brick on the wall that keeps the two of them from a sweeter sense of connection.
Feminine energy makes communicating easier because it’s nurturing, kind and caring.
Feminine Communication Increases Your Awareness
Slow down in your communication, especially when you’re upset.
Listen to how you speak.
What tone are you using?
Listen to what words you choose.
Are they nurturing and loving?
Are they gentle and kind?
It’s totally ok to be mad. Your emotions are valid. But don’t project your anger onto your partner. Learn how to take care of yourself emotionally. Look to see what’s underneath your anger, resentment and sometimes even seething hatred. I bet you’ll find real gold. Like believing you aren’t good enough, pretty enough or even capable enough. Those beliefs aren’t your partner’s fault. Maybe he’s just validating those for you.
I used the expression “find real gold” because once you realize you’re having these disempowering and false beliefs about yourself, you can change them.
Are you in a verbally abusive relationship?
Is your partner using abusive language to communicate with you? How does it make you feel? I am sure it hurts. Often the verbal abuser doesn’t even realize the effect it has on you.
Are you abusive back or do you withdraw? Being aggressive back and/or shutting down won’t make communicating easier. Using your feminine energy and applying feminine communication styles will stop the cycle.
It could be your only “weapon.”
And I’m not talking about using your erotic feminine energy or sexual power to control your partner. What I’m talking about is creating a personal boundary for yourself where you won’t engage in such language. Instead, you’ll drop down into your feminine side and begin to nurture yourself, come to your rescue, set healthy boundaries and give those boundaries a clear voice.
If you do this you’ll communicate in a whole new, more empowered way.
This takes lots of courage!
You may even no longer be in a relationship and that’s actually the risk you have to take to use feminine energy to make communicating easier. Someone has to stop the battle, abuse, and aggression. If it isn’t coming from your partner then it needs to come from you.
You decide self-love is more important.
Feminine energy makes communicating easier because you have committed to putting down your sword. Because you have committed to letting go of the internal struggle and claiming self-love over anything else. Probably, you are no longer engaged in GI Joe tactics. Instead, you are processing your emotions and triggers in a productive way. And you are using Heart Talk to communicate instead of reactive responses.
This takes lots of practice.
Knowing how your feminine energy makes communicating easier could be a lifelong practice. But a lifelong practice worth embarking on! And so much better than making an intimate relationship a stage for World War III. Learn how to improve your communication and you’ll improve your life.
And ultimately, your feminine energy makes communicating easier, you just need to connect more with your feminine side. Ultimately, your feminine side is your rescue remedy! Therefore, you need to learn how to channel feminine energy. If the abuse is in the language then it’s most likely in the bedroom too. Better sex requires better communication. But that’s another subject.
For now, know that using feminine energy and heart talk in your relationship is the only way you’ll experience more connection and consideration. Furthermore, it is the only way you’ll shift your relationships to one where you feel truly heard and understand. Ultimately, you need to give what you want to get. It takes courage and a commitment to learning new skills to create these new, more empowering relationship dynamics. I am here to give you the tools and show you how.
I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. Want to feel more empowered and loved by your partner? Then, you need to first create that from within yourself. I can help. If you would like to find out more check out my online courses.