How To Tell What Is Good Relationship Advice And What Is Bad
What is good relationship advice? It is often not so easy to know. When you’re seeking good relationship advice, it is when you’re in a state of confusion or upset. Or both! You’re needing clarity and wanting solutions. Who do you turn to?
Should You Turn to Your Girlfriends for Good Relationship Advice?
Many women turn to their trusted girlfriends for relationship advice. This is both good and bad. Girlfriends have your best interest at heart. At least we would think so, right? But they could also be stuck in the same relationship challenges you are currently in.
Albert Einstein said…
“You can’t solve a problem with
the same consciousness from which it was created.”
The last time I had a “best friend” was in my thirties. It was so wonderful to have that one special girlfriend in my life. We would meet every Saturday morning for coffee. Guess what we did while drinking our coffee? We complained about our husbands. We felt connected in our misery. We focused on our plight. We expanded on the unfairness of it all. We definitely weren’t giving each other good relationship advice.
Beware of this happening to you when you are seeking good relationship advice and wanting clarity. Your girlfriends, though well-meaning, may not always be the best source for good relationship advice. It’s up to you to be discerning.
I have some amazing women as my confidants. They are there for me when I need them however there are things to be aware of if you’re going to turn to your girlfriends when seeking good relationship advice.
- Do I feel better but don’t get the clarity or solutions I am searching for?
- Does my girlfriend have the same or similar relationship challenges as me?
- Does my girlfriend, in general, have an optimistic, upbeat outlook to life or does she see the glass half empty?
- Does she hold the idea of relationship as a sacred union; one to be treated with great reverence?
Your girlfriend may not have the exact same problems as you but her relationship solving skills may be at the same level. She may have a hard time seeing your mate objectively, especially if she has seen you in emotional pain due to the relationship.
And she may not hold the idea of relationship as something that is sacred, instead of something that can easily be replaced. I feel that our society has conditioned us to believe that relationships are disposable just like handy wipes or paper towels.
Do You Honor Your Relationships?
Relationships are the highest form of personal development.
And it can be very humbling to your ego.
When you’re in an intimate relationship you are “in the fire.” Passions arise, things heat up and you become vulnerable. Being in a relationship is not easy. No matter how compatible you are, you’ll still have differences and vulnerabilities. Have we, as a society, learned how to honor other people’s differences? Or be sensitive to other people’s vulnerabilities.
Look at the many social and political conflicts occurring to answer that question. Honoring others, even if you don’t agree with them, isn’t something most of us have learned to do.
Let’s face it, we didn’t have the best role models when it comes to showing us how to have conscious equal partnerships in our love relationships. Even if you had great parents, did they have the ultimate love relationship? Probably not.
We’re all learning how to love and honor each other on this planet.
I believe peace on this planet will not magically happen at some global summit, it’s a slower process that is being birthed in the hearts and homes of intimate relationships.
Because relationships aren’t always easy and because conflicts often seem insurmountable, I believe everyone needs good relationship advice. Everyone needs a cheerleader and warm fuzzies of encouragement to let them know they are making progress. Otherwise, you get discouraged and can easily give up on the relationship but still remain in it. That is the worst because then the relationship becomes lifeless.
Instead of lifeless what we need is to learn a whole new way of living and loving. What we have learned doesn’t work. Advice that gives you tools, new ways, new ideas and new beliefs supporting each person’s full potential is good relationship advice for women and everyone for that matter. For sure.
Good Relationship Advice has this in Mind
If you’re asking yourself, “what is good relationship advice and what is bad”, make sure the advice has this in mind.
- Does it challenge your belief systems in an expansive or consciousness-raising way around what it means to be in a relationship?
- Does it hold relationships as the highest form of living instead of thinking it is disposable?
- Does it develop a sense of reverence and honor for the relationship?
- Does the advice include equal mattering as well as each person taking responsibility for their actions? Is the advice free from blame and shame?
- And, not to forget, does it take into consideration the relationship you have with you, increasing your sense of self-love?If you can answer yes to these questions then you’re receiving good relationship advice.
Watch Out for Bad Relationship Advice
You know you’re getting bad relationship advice when:
- One person is depicted as wrong and the other person right.
- When you are not being challenged to stretch a little outside your comfort zone.
- When it is rigid, black and white and not taking each person’s individual needs, hopes, dreams, and desires into consideration.
- When the advice given is more of a barricade, completely walling off another instead of keeping your heart open and cultivating the necessary self-love to create a healthy boundary.
Remember, when you’re in a long-term committed relationship, you’re in the highest form of personal development. It’s easy when challenged in the relationship, to lose perspective. That’s why having good relationship advice from a trusted and qualified person is extremely valuable and even necessary for the health of a relationship. It can often make the difference between a couple splitting up and a couple finding common ground and a more loving way to be together.
That is why having good relationship advice from a trusted and qualified person is extremely valuable and even necessary for the health of a relationship. It can often make the difference between a couple splitting up and a couple finding common ground and a more loving way to be together. Here are three important pieces of relationship advice to live by.
What resonated most with you in this article and why? What advice can you put into action right now?
Leave a comment below and let me know. Thousands of other women come here each week for inspiration, information and wisdom. Your comment may provide support to someone else and be exactly what they needed to hear.
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I’m Anna-Thea, an author and Certified Divine Feminine Educator. I understand the profound challenges relationships go through. If this article resonates with you and you’d like to find out more about how to get good relationship advice and create more honor and reverence in your relationships check out my online courses. A popular course is “How to Sexually Heal Your Man”