Conflict Resolution: Let Your Heart Melt Conflict Away
When you approach a situation with love it has a whole different feeling to it as compared to approaching a situation with dislike, indifference, anger or even fear. When you feel received by someone in a state of love, your body immediate feels more alive. It has an automatic effect of opening your energy, your body and your heart.
Conflict Resolution: When you feel conflict, you feel constriction in your body …
The opposite is true when there is conflict. When you feel conflict, you feel constriction in your body. It might manifest as constriction in the heart or the throat or you might end up with a headache or feel completely drained of energy.
This is real. Our heart’s energy fields are nourished by the heart energy fields of those around us. We need each other. When heart energy is cut off, we wither.
It takes energy to keep your heart open, though I believe it takes more energy to keep your heart closed, hold resentments, and not forgive. But that is the way many of us live. Could it be because we haven’t had the role models or received the tools to communicate in a way that softens and opens each other’s hearts?
Resolving conflict that comes up in your life and in your relationships is worth it if you want to feel more alive in your body. You need to stay open and let that heart energy flow through your body. It is easy to be loving and open when everything is going your way but not so easy when it is not. It isn’t love that needs love, it is life’s more challenging and “negative” situations that need love.
Conflict Resolution: Importance of Heartfelt Communication
Heartfelt communication is crucial in keeping your body’s energy open and flowing. Heartfelt communication always enhances the energetic connection between two people and therefore enhances vitality. You bathe each other in this powerful electromagnetic field of love and connection.
When you can resolve conflict by getting to the “heart of the matter” instead of staying in “story” with each other, you will experience dropping down from your mind, into your body or into your heart. It is a much more alive way to live.
There is great benefit to your overall health and vitality when you can consciously harness the power of your heart. The challenge is to learn this new way of communicating and incorporate it consistently into your life. For most of us it is similar to learning a foreign language.
Try this as an experiment. The next time you are in a conflict and find yourself in story begin to bring focus to your heart. What I mean by story is your thought process of what you think of the situation that is making you upset.
The stories usually have some quality of blame or shame in them. For example saying things like “he always” or “she never” are fragments of what would be in a story in your head.
Conflict Resolution:You are so much more…
Listen to the stories you tell yourself when you are upset. These stories are not who you are. It is your mind. You are not your mind. You are so much more.
If you let yourself be led by your mind, you will experience insanity. Give it a try. You will discover that your relationships will become unbearable. You will also find yourself living in a more contracted state in your body. You will probably also walk around with a very serious look on your face.
Instead, the next time you are in conflict, get out of story! Get into your heart!
Try this as an experiment and see what happens. If you are in a heated discussion with someone and you are feeling that contractive energy between the two of you, begin to raise the energy by focusing on your heart. You don’t have to even let the other person know you are doing this.
Conflict Resolution: Avoid the Silent Treatment
Begin to bring all your focus to your heart as you continue being with that person. You can even stop talking. If you stop talking don’t stop talking in a way that is giving the person the silent treatment. Just wait for them to talk and continue to focus on your heart.
All the energy that you would expend to stay in story or to defend yourself, will now go towards focusing on your heart. You are directing your thoughts in the direction of your heart instead of in the direction of a story that will just worsen the situation. By doing this, you are giving spaciousness to the situation and energetically bringing expansion to a contractive situation.
Words spoken from your mind and not from your heart will only make it worse. You will dig yourself into a dark hole of lifelessness.
I have found this to be a subtle yet very effective way to shift the energy to a more positive direction when conflict arises. The hard part is to remember to do it. Remember this one simple thing: Put focus on your heart when there is conflict. See what happens. You might find some miraculous shifts in your life. You might create even more love in it.
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I’m Anna-Thea, an intimacy coach. I help to empower in the area of intimacy and love. If you would like to find out more about how to create more fulfilling relationships and how to nurture yourself emotionally, contact me at 702-306-3084 or visit www.LeaderOfLove.com
Copyright © 2013 Anna-Thea