3 Pieces of Relationship Advice to Live By
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Being in an intimate relationship is the most powerful personal development program there is. Here is relationship advice to live by if you want to support the growing and maturing process of your intimate relationship and ultimately your soul.
If you don’t live by this relationship advice, your relationship can easily become filled with resentment and you could become a very bitter person, especially if you decided to stay in a relationship that “isn’t working”.
The truth is all relationships “are working”. They are working hard to give you the relationship experiences your soul has signed up for. Intimate relationships give you great opportunities to learn more about yourself. Those that don’t realize this and don’t live by this advice will suffer unnecessary emotional pain.
Here are three pieces of relationship advice to live by. If you want to fully embrace the path of intimate relationship as a path for your own personal development.
Relationships Are Your Mirrors
Every person in your life is your mirror. This means others are reflecting back to you parts of your own consciousness, giving you an opportunity to see yourself, and through that self-reflection, grow and mature. If you can see it in another that means you have it too. This goes for both good and bad qualities.
This one piece of relationship advice is extremely powerful but only when applied. And when applied, blame and judgement go away. Victim energy disappears. The idea that someone is doing something to you, making your life miserable through their actions or words, is no longer a part of your reality.
Instead when you apply the relationship advice, that your relationships are your mirrors, this gives you an opportunity to cultivate deep love, intimacy and understanding. Creative relationship problem solving becomes more accessible. And this isn’t just for your most intimate relationships. This is for all relationships you are in, although it is in your intimate relationship where you have the opportunity to see, in the greatest detail, who you really are.
And when you really apply this relationship advice, I will tell you, it is humbling! A simple way to see how this works is to pay attention to what you complain about regarding your partner. Listen to your words and how you describe the characteristic of his/her personality that bother you. THEN, take those words and ask yourself, “where am I just like that?”
Let’s say you are always complaining about how selfish your partner is. Hmmm, selfish. Ask yourself, where are you selfish? You may not be selfish in the exact same way as your partner. You may even think, I can’t possibly be selfish, I am always giving to others. You complain that he is inconsiderate and therefore he is selfish.
Well maybe, you are too considerate. Maybe you are trying to do for others too much. Â In all that extra giving and doing for others, do you have an agenda? The agenda might be that you want to feel loved and accepted. You aren’t giving simply to give, you are giving and wanting something in return. And if you don’t get it, you hold back your love. This could be called another form of selfish.
This is just one example. What might it be for you? Start paying attention to what you complain about. You can use those words as a real eye opener for greater self-awareness. Remember when you have one finger pointing at someone there are three fingers pointing back at you.
Take this one piece of relationship advice and live by it. I guarantee you it will transform your relationships.
Take Responsibility for YOUR Part
With that said, it is important to take responsibility for your part. And what I mean by your part is YOUR part. Too many women are the scape goats for all that goes wrong, well gosh, in life, and in relationships.
Look at the fundamental way society will often look at a rape victim; “she was asking for it”. Even if this isn’t consciously spoken, this attitude is often energetically present. That is why rape victims often don’t even report having been raped. They were already traumatized. They don’t want to risk being blamed for the incident or publicly humiliated.
That is a sad, and all too often, extreme example. But it is happening in intimate relationships, with other things. Women tend to do more personal development than men, buying into the belief that there is something inherently wrong with them. http://brandongaille.com/personal-development-industry-statistics/
I want you to know, you are perfect whole and complete just the way you are. You are not less of a person because you are depressed or sad or confused. There is nothing that needs fixing inside of you. You are just being shown something is out of balance for you.
Taking responsibility for your part is huge to experience fulfilling relationships. But I want to stress that this does not mean you taking responsibility and the other person not. Though you have no control over another person, if you are in an intimate relationship where you live by the relationship advice of owning your own part and you are doing your work, BUT your partner is not, then you are not really in a relationship. You are “doing” relationship but not “in” relationship.
Maybe this shows up as you are the one who always keeps the house clean to have a nice environment to live in, or maybe you are the one who always suggests date night. In whatever form it shows up, ask yourself, “Am I creating the relationship or are we co-creating it?” In other words, are you over “doing” to hold the relationship together. And if you stopped “doing” what you are doing for the relationship¦ would you still have one?
Owning YOUR part and not taking responsibility for what your partner should be taking responsibility for is a big trap. Women get stuck in dead end relationships with this type of behavior, thinking “he needs me” or “he didn’t really mean to do that”, or “he is doing the best that he can”. You find yourself over compromising and adjusting more than your partner.
It is such a fine tight rope to walk in intimate relationships, knowing when to be flexible and when to stand your ground. I believe many more women would be single if they fully took responsibility for their happiness and had the courage to express their truth. Saying to themselves and the relationship, I need more, and really owning it. Owning that they need more love, more nurturing more presence and availability.
Definitely take responsibility for YOUR part when challenges come up in your intimate relationship but don’t be a scape goat for what your partner should take responsibility for.
Hold Your Relationship as Sacred
An intimate relationship is one of the most profound experiences we can have in life. As I said in the beginning of this article, “Being in an intimate relationship is the most powerful personal development program there is”. By the end of your life those that you loved will have changed you, and hopefully for the better though sometime not. And who knows, if you believe in re-incarnation, you may have loved them many times before.
When two people come together there is something far greater happening than meets the naked eye. Sharing your life with another whether that be for 2 weeks or 20 years, is special. We cross each other’s paths in the journey of life and I don’t believe any of it is a mistake. I believe it is all divinely orchestrated.
Holding your relationships as sacred is good relationship advice to live by. When you hold your relationships as sacred and special you will navigate them with greater respect and reverence. You will show more compassion. You will be motivated to set healthy boundaries for yourself. You will understand that loving another is the same as loving yourself.
When you treat your relationships as sacred you will give them the care and attention they need. What can you do to make your relationships more sacred? Remember to show it with your actions more so than with your words.
Remember that your relationships are your mirrors. What are they showing you? What do you need to take responsibility for and what are you doing that isn’t allowing the relationship to actually be a relationship of co-creation? And lastly no matter what learning process is unfolding in your relationships, know that it is a sacred process on the soul level.
Anna-Thea is an intimacy coach. She helps to empower women in the area of intimacy and love. If you would like to find out more about how to create more fulfilling relationships contact Anna-Thea at 702-306-3984 or visit www.annathea.org or www.LeaderofLove.com